I always feel weird holding eye contact

[froghat]

Does anyone else have this problem? Whenever someone is talking to me for a while I get so uncomfortable just staring at them in the eyes as they talk to me, so I go back and forth between their eyes and looking away. Whenever I do make eye contact, I feel like I'm trying too hard and they can tell. This is really pissing me off! I feel like my anxiety has improved, but I still have this bad habit and I have no idea how to get it out of my head.. How am I supposed to connect with people if I always look shifty eyed? Uhhh, anyone have any suggestions? THis makes me sick!

 

[that1guy]

dude i do the same thing. And yes I also feel that they think im trying too hard once I do make eye contact. Sometimes I pull the looking right under the eyes or looking right at the nose. I know its pretty weird and awkward but at least or looking at their face instead of some other random thing. That helps me a bit.

 

[Helyna]

You don't have to look in somebody's eyes all the time. I run across this problem, too, but usually if I just focus on what we're saying, I'm fine. It's when I get fixated on looking at somebody that I get nervous about it.

 

[Akira]

Keeping eye contact is one of the most awkward things for me. I usually look away from someone's eyes naturally, but sometimes I'll realize that I'm probably being rude by not looking at them while they're speaking. So then I try to force myself to make eye contact, and looking at someone who's looking at you is the weirdest thing for me, so I break eye contact. And I can never decide which eye to actually look at, so I tend to switch between looking at one eye and then the other. I can't imagine how awkward I look when I do that.

 

[froghat]

Helyna, yeah, that's my problem. I'm so fixated on making eye contact that I'm unable to focus on what they're saying. I don't know how to stop doing it. It's a bad habit and trying to break is like trying quit smoking. Dunno what to do.

 

[lucifersam]

I have precisely this problem. When you make eye contact, it's like they're looking into your soul, it's so weird. I never know what is too much, what is too little, etc...

 

[Helyna]

And once I start thinking about it, it's impossible to stop. Am I staring? Should I be looking longer? (because I'll look for about a second, turn away for a second, look back...) Can she tell I'm looking at her mouth? But I feel like I'm staring!!! I don't know how I ever stop this train of thought, but I must do it because I don't always have the problem.

 

[tpdarlo]

Try to focus on what they're saying. Focus on every word. Eventually, knowing what to do with your eyes will come naturally. I used to have this problem when listening, but now I tend to only have it when talking. When I'm talking and looking into someone's eyes I tend to forget what I was saying.