How to show support??

[Gretel]

Hi everyone,
I need some advice on helping my wonderful boyfriend.

I've known him for almost a year and I believe that he suffers from social anxiety. From what i have read/researched, he displays a number of the behavious listed, including problems attending social functions, eating in public places, getting a hair cut & choosing clothes to wear. He consistantly places emphasis on what others think & 'appearances'. There's been a few attacks, which, due to my lack of knowledge, have turned into very angry, helpless, uncontrollable and sometimes violent outbursts.

I need to know what my first step should be.
I thought the best way would be to talk to him - but how would this be received - does he know that he doesn't need to feel this way.
I don't think that this is something that should be dealt with subtly (like leaving reading material around the house about it), but i need to talk to him in a way so that he knows that this is something that we'll be dealing with together & that I'm not concerned about this in regards to my love for him.

Any advice or past experiences about this would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

 

[corsa]

I guess how you would approach him depends on whether he thinks he has a problem or not?

If he doesn't think he has a problem, then confronting him with your view that he may have SP might get him on the defensive and he may feel that you are criticising him.

Or if he is willing to talk about his anxiety, just listen to him and don't judge him for what he is saying, even though his fears may sound to you to be totally unwarranted or unfounded. I really stress not to be dismissive of anything he reveals because he will get upset and feel that you are attacking him. Just keep reassuring him that you will be there to support him and let him talk.