How To Respond To This?

[KimKC]

I am making progress all the time and working on being more talkative and sociable (though it is really hard and soemtimes I have set backs) but sometimes when I am feeling sociable and outgoing someone remarks, "You're quiet." Or asks, "Are you always this quiet?" I then plummit back to my shell and remain there whenever I am around them. I don't feel shy or quiet inside, I try to talk more but when someone tells me I'm still as quiet as ever it really hits me hard. WHat shoudl I say in reply to that? Is there anything I can do to stop myself from falling back into my shell everytime someone tells me I am still quiet.

 

[maggie]

hiya KimKC..i get that all the time at work..and i sometimes wonder if it somehow annoys others how quiet i am..and why that is :? ...and why they feel the need to point out something i already know?..pisses me off cause if i'm already not having a bad anxiety-wise day...that is enough sometimes to get me started. Then I'm usually thinking to myself..there's usually enough blabbermouths in here...who seem to enjoy picking out someone else's shortcomings...maybe being quiet isn't so bad :wink:

 

[Emma]

I think being quiet is a good thing, at least no-one could ever accuse us of being rude loudmouths,can they?

 

[Colin]

Sorry to hear it, because I'm brought low by comparisons too. So I feel the best way for me to deal with it is to focus on the positives, block out the comparisons because most are negative. We have to be narrow-minded at this stage because being open-minded and taking in criticisms during recovery will only work to demoralize us. There's no sense kicking a dog when it's down.

(PS I love dogs)

 

[savage_beagle]

quiet aint so bad.

Kim, it's ok to be a quiet type of individual. Now, the real issue is your low self esteem. Maybe if you were more self confident and had a higher self esteem, you would be a bit more vocal. You see, is it really a a major event to be told that you seem pretty quiet..that you should feel crushed and sad? If another day, another co-worker makes a comment about your height, the boss mentioning your work desk is messy, your friend teasing you about your choice of clothes...will those all be personal attacks on you to make you feel horrible? Raise your self esteem up and learn to be more confident and the little things wont bother you so much...you just brush them off. If you are a truly quiet type who thinks intelligently before you respond, then CONGRATS.....theres a huge shortage of you people in this world . I know i met my share of people who just like to yak and needed to be introduced to the blunt words of--''AHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY'' :wink:

 

[KevVversion1]

I've always had this a lot, and it always makes me go off on one. But the way I deal with it is to say "Yes, I am a quiet person" ... and look them straight in the eye and see if they have the guts to question you anymore about it. As soon as you show them that you are comfortable with your quietness, and you dont think that makes you a bad or incapable person in anyway then they will probably just leave you alone. I personally dont think people should make a massive effort to be more talkative, I mean 99% of what people say is uneccessary waffle anyway, so just accept your quietness, and once you realise it is nothing to be scared or embarassed of that's when you will probably end up talking more anyway and it wont be such a big deal.

 

[mad_mad_woman]

someone once asked me if i have any friends...you can imagine how good that made me feel.

Someone once told me that i dont know how to communicate. I was devastated. Shit life can be tough

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

uh i kno ppl prob ask me that 10x a day-- gets so old. i usually just say either oh, im sry lol or i just dont talk in school much 4 some reason. idk