How to help a friend?

[Helyna]

My depression has returned after several months away, and I consider it to be worse than the first time. I can't concentrate, and I'm finally slipping in schoolwork. It goes up and down through the day and through the week, though. It always has.
Anyway, one of my friends at school is extremely depressed. Much worse than I am. She's fairly cheerful a lot of the time, but sometimes she's really upset. I think she's getting help, but I haven't seen it working.
My best friend is also going through a hard time. The two of us really don't share our emotions. I've never had to deal with this before. She was crying once, and the teacher let the two of us go to the bathroom for her to calm down, but I had no idea what to say or do.
I feel helpless. I can't even deal with myself. I don't know what to do for my friends. I never know what to say about something emotional. I'm so stuck inside myself. I don't know how to comfort. What do I do?

 

[Triselle]

One of my closest friends were crying too, just a day ago and I asked her what's wrong but she wouldn't tell me, she said it was a personal problem. But I too have personal problems and I sometimes tell people if I'm sad, if it gets too personal I dont tell that at all. At times, I also dont know how to comefort my friends but Ive always been thier friend whenever they were going through the ups and downs. Maybe you should ask her what is bothering her, how she is feeling then maybe things can get better.

 

[slimjim119]

My depression has returned after several months away, and I consider it to be worse than the first time. I can't concentrate, and I'm finally slipping in schoolwork. It goes up and down through the day and through the week, though. It always has.
Anyway, one of my friends at school is extremely depressed. Much worse than I am. She's fairly cheerful a lot of the time, but sometimes she's really upset. I think she's getting help, but I haven't seen it working.
My best friend is also going through a hard time. The two of us really don't share our emotions. I've never had to deal with this before. She was crying once, and the teacher let the two of us go to the bathroom for her to calm down, but I had no idea what to say or do.
I feel helpless. I can't even deal with myself. I don't know what to do for my friends. I never know what to say about something emotional. I'm so stuck inside myself. I don't know how to comfort. What do I do?

Your doing alot just by being there for your friend and lending a sympathetic ear. Sometimes thats the best support you can give.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

My depression has returned after several months away, and I consider it to be worse than the first time. I can't concentrate, and I'm finally slipping in schoolwork. It goes up and down through the day and through the week, though. It always has.
Anyway, one of my friends at school is extremely depressed. Much worse than I am. She's fairly cheerful a lot of the time, but sometimes she's really upset. I think she's getting help, but I haven't seen it working.
My best friend is also going through a hard time. The two of us really don't share our emotions. I've never had to deal with this before. She was crying once, and the teacher let the two of us go to the bathroom for her to calm down, but I had no idea what to say or do.
I feel helpless. I can't even deal with myself. I don't know what to do for my friends. I never know what to say about something emotional. I'm so stuck inside myself. I don't know how to comfort. What do I do?

Your doing alot just by being there for your friend and lending a sympathetic ear. Sometimes thats the best support you can give.

I agree. Don't feel like you have to have the answers to her problems for her. At the very least, don't feel like you need to avoid talking about her feelings because you don't know what to say. The right thing to say might not pop into your head, but the right thing to do is be a sympathetic ear, and a shoulder to cry on if necessary.

 

[JonnyD_]

Your doing alot just by being there for your friend and lending a sympathetic ear. Sometimes thats the best support you can give.

i agree, you don't neet to push yourself because she's not opening with u, it's normal, i think you are being a great friend just by being there when she need, everything in its due time

actually i have a friend who i wish i could help more, he's far away and he's having problems with his mother and he's step father.

 

[Mitchell]

My depression has returned after several months away, and I consider it to be worse than the first time. I can't concentrate, and I'm finally slipping in schoolwork. It goes up and down through the day and through the week, though. It always has.
Anyway, one of my friends at school is extremely depressed. Much worse than I am. She's fairly cheerful a lot of the time, but sometimes she's really upset. I think she's getting help, but I haven't seen it working.
My best friend is also going through a hard time. The two of us really don't share our emotions. I've never had to deal with this before. She was crying once, and the teacher let the two of us go to the bathroom for her to calm down, but I had no idea what to say or do.
I feel helpless. I can't even deal with myself. I don't know what to do for my friends. I never know what to say about something emotional. I'm so stuck inside myself. I don't know how to comfort. What do I do?

You dont need to feel bad for that.It is because you have never shared any emotions or may be you dont understand each other emotionally. You just give a lending ear to what your friend says and that will be a better help then say something that is not the right thing

 

[GloomySunday]

There are some great responses here. And they're absolutely right.

In life, we often feel that we have to have "the answers" or that we should be able to "solve" other people's problems somehow. More often than not, people just need to know that someone is there for them, to lend a sympathetic ear.

Having problems with depression yourself actually gives you an insight into their world that other people do not have. It's not "the blind leading the blind" though it may feel that way at times!

Your experiences with and knowledge of how dark and troubled the human mind can become is your greatest asset in this situation.

Just keep on being there for them, as people on this forum are here for you. Let's all just keep on helping one another and keep on listening and caring. We'll figure it all out someday. Somewhere along the way.

 

[freestylemonster]

I think the best thing you can do in those situations is not say anything, but don't leave them alone. Just stay with them and let them know you're there and you care. Maybe even put your arm around them or something that's always conforting.