How to deal with family bullying

[EscapeArtist]

It's been awhile since I've posted a thread.

Throughout my life I've been bullied/hated, and emotionally neglected by my dad (who isn't an issue anymore because I don't see him), and mom. Older sister too, but I have learned to avoid that one by not speaking. (Younger sister is lovely and tries so hard to overcome her own fear of emotion to comfort me in these times, it's adorably special).
I guess I've tried everything under the sun when this happens. I try to not say anything and not let it get to me, but if I'm feeling unstable at the time It does get to me... If not sooner then later. I've tried giving them what they want, "Yes, I am stupid I couldn't agree more" (Not the right approach. I tried this around the age of 8 and it completely backfired). I've tried standing up for myself, "No I am not" and that does nothing but bring about a load of examples and brainwashing that it's all in my mind that I'm not _____.

I just don't know what to do anymore! The only problem right now is my mom, as my sister and father both are distant now. But I just don't know how to handle it and not take it in anymore. I am still believing these things that she tells me I am, and believing this and that really is my fault, even when I do stand up for myself I end up believing it in a future unrelated situation.

I've tried avoiding her, I've tried getting along with her, either way these moments arise and distance as well as love sensitizes me to them equally. So... What do I do about it? I guess, how can I not let it get to me would be the question I must ask here?


(By the way, NO blame to my mother or father... Mother espeiclally. She is ill. Mentally ill with her own disease of self hatred and lack of childhood love that blinds her from all other focus and causes MUCH projection. It is the circumstance, not her, to deal with)

 

[Beatrice]

It's been awhile since I've posted a thread.

Throughout my life I've been bullied/hated, and emotionally neglected by my dad (who isn't an issue anymore because I don't see him), and mom. (Younger sister is lovely and tries so hard to overcome her own fear of emotion to comfort me in these times, it's adorably special).
I guess I've tried everything under the sun when this happens. I try to not say anything and not let it get to me, but if I'm feeling unstable at the time It does get to me... If not sooner then later. I've tried giving them what they want, "Yes, I am stupid I couldn't agree more" (Not the right approach. I tried this around the age of 8 and it completely backfired). I've tried standing up for myself, "No I am not" and that does nothing but bring about a load of examples and brainwashing that it's all in my mind that I'm not _____.

I just don't know what to do anymore! The only problem right now is my mom, as my sister and father both are distant now. But I just don't know how to handle it and not take it in anymore. I am still believing these things that she tells me I am, and believing this and that really is my fault, even when I do stand up for myself I end up believing it in a future unrelated situation.

I've tried avoiding her, I've tried getting along with her, either way these moments arise and distance as well as love sensitizes me to them equally. So... What do I do about it? Can anybody relate?


(By the way, NO blame to my mother or father... Mother espeiclally. She is ill. Mentally ill with her own disease of self hatred and lack of childhood love that blinds her from all other focus and causes MUCH projection. It is the circumstance, not her, to deal with)

This won't help much but I just wanted to say, my ex-boyfriend had the SAME exact problem.... his mother would pick on him constantly and make him feel worthless, tell him his this, this, and that.... It was hard for me to hear. I wanted to sock her in the face....

 

[EscapeArtist]

I appreciate your reply Beatrice.
How did he end up handling it? Or where did he vent the resulting emotions out?

 

[Beatrice]

Well, he mostly kept it inside except when he talked to me and his best friend :/ So really, it's a constant struggle for him, even now, I'm sure. He gets really down a lot (not to mention he's bipolar so that makes it worse...)