How important do you feel confidence in yourself is...

[Jim_Bergerac]

in overcoming SA?

I read that SA is a fear of negative judgements which in my case is very true, I do fear negative judgements on how I look after years of put downs, name calling, ridicule, etc about how I looked in my teenage years.
You would think therefore that the answer would be to aim to not find those negative judgements hurtful so that you do not fear them.

I was thinking however that there are parts of myself I have a lot of confidence in. I have very high confidence in my personality and intelligence. I also have confidence in some aspects of my appearance. I am sure everyone reading this must have some confidence in some parts of themselves. The things I have high confidence in I do not fear any negative judgements on, I believe these parts of me are good enough and I believe I am good enough compared to others for these parts of me.
However, the parts of me I fear negative judgements on I have no confidence or belief in. I do believe that those parts of me are not good enough, I do feel inferior and inadequate for those parts of me.

Is the answer therefore to build confidence and positive beliefs about the parts of ourselves we fear negative judgements on? If we hold negative beliefs about a part of ourself, can we ever have confidence in that part of ourself and not feel self conscious of it - which triggers anxiety?


Edit: I just want to add to this and say that I have been working on overcoming my SA for about 4 years. I have improved a lot from my lowest point, but I do put that purely down to the fact I aim to look my very best now and think more positively about how I look. In the past I used to be scruffy and look a mess and felt a lot more negative about how I looked. I have not seen any improvements in my SA from trying to not be hurt by negative judgements, by trying to understand people are not judging me negatively, etc. Could our SA be triggered simply be us having such negative beliefs on the parts of ourselves we are insecure of which makes us feel ashamed, inadequate, inferior, not good enough, self conscious, etc?

 

[morningmist83]

I think confidence is essential in overcoming sa in whatever areas you have trouble with. But I guess it could be different for different people. For me anyway, the main reason I have sa is I've no confidence in my communication (verbal & nonverbal) with others. I think I'm attractive and intelligent, but I have real communication issues & making connections with people because I second guess myself, doubt myself, fear rejection & betrayal, and put myself down about this all the time. If I had more social-confidence I'd not dwell on all this negativity and be able to function. I'm sure I have some innate social ability, I just don't trust it? It's hard to explain. But if I had more confidence in myself I would speak up more, not be so quiet, and be more comfortable in social situations. I think my lack of confidence, and negative emotions towards myself inhibits me from growing right now...so that's what I'm going to focus on for now.

 

[Day_Tripper]

If I'm not confident in my ability to talk to people, it probably won't matter if I'm confident about anything else.

 

[Jim_Bergerac]

I think confidence is essential in overcoming sa in whatever areas you have trouble with. But I guess it could be different for different people. For me anyway, the main reason I have sa is I've no confidence in my communication (verbal & nonverbal) with others. I think I'm attractive and intelligent, but I have real communication issues & making connections with people because I second guess myself, doubt myself, fear rejection & betrayal, and put myself down about this all the time. If I had more social-confidence I'd not dwell on all this negativity and be able to function. I'm sure I have some innate social ability, I just don't trust it? It's hard to explain. But if I had more confidence in myself I would speak up more, not be so quiet, and be more comfortable in social situations. I think my lack of confidence, and negative emotions towards myself inhibits me from growing right now...so that's what I'm going to focus on for now.

Interesting. I can see from what you have written how you seem to feel very positive and confident about your intelligence and looks but when it comes to communicating with others I see you write about that part of yourself with zero confidence. I agree that you really do need to start developing some positive beliefs in this part of yourself.
That side of myself I have a lot of confidence in, if there is any advice or questions you want to ask me or want to chat about that side of things, send me a mail.