How do people enjoy life?

[Screwdriver1020]

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[mad_mad_woman]

Here I am, sitting on my computer, finding random games to play to try to keep me entertained and prevent me from contemplating suicide. But nothing i do is actually entertaining or enjoyable. I don't have fun anymore. I have no friends, I have no lover, I have family that treats me like a child. I just feel like crying all the time.

I see everyone else doing normal random things and staying busy and somehow enjoying it or at least not hating it. I see no point in life but I can't ***** because it would hurt my family and God wouldn't like it either.

Sometimes I just wish I could die of natural causes just to get it over with. I can't imagine living even 20 more years out of shear boredom of what I've been through so far. With this stupid disease SA. I'm so lazy and sleep all the time and work. I'm just a waste of oxygen and money.

That's my rant for today before I pass out from sleeping pills.

Hey Screwdriver,

Dont say you have no friends, because everyone here is your friend. I wish I was as articulate as you. I too look around at other people and see them laughing, talking, confident, keeping themselves busy and I assume they are so happy and lucky. But I bet they all have their own problems and are not half as happy as they appear.

I have had social phobia for 14 years now, and boy has it been hard, I too cried until I had no more tears left to cry, and I thought about giving up. And my social phobia is not even mild, its really really really bad! But guess what. It actually gets easier as time goes by. You learn to manage it, you learn to deal with it and you learn to appreciate yourself more.
So dont ever ever think about giving up. You fight this thing because you have so much to live for and so much you can offer.