Hi I'm 18 and i've had OCD for most of my life. I didn't get it on my own...I "inherited" it through my mother (she is very OCD, and she doesn't even know it). She would always tell me "make sure everything is in its place before bed" or "make sure you dont forget anything when you leave the house, go to school, go snowboarding, etc".
I didn't realize I had OCD until 5 months ago when I googled it. I'm always always always going over stuff, making sure I have everything. I obsess about it, and I'm always compulsing about it. When I make something for dinner, I make sure everything is put away before I start eating. When I go to school, I make sure I have everything. When I go to work (I work at a Law Office), I make sure I get everything done correctly and Im done everything on that file. This stresses me out because I don't have time for that at work. When I plug in my laptop, I make sure about 4 times that it's charging. Ill say something, and I have to repeat it. Ill get my boyfriend to repeat it so I know what I said. When we get into fights, I need him to repeat stuff so it goes through my head. Eventhough it's through my head...I just need it repeated to me. When I do my list of things Im supposed to have with me, Ill go through the list another 20 times to make sure I have everything. Its really stressful and ridiculous. When I play a video game, I save it 2 times. When I have a conversation, I always make sure I replied to everything and that I'm getting replied to. When me and my bf talk, sometimes he'll reply "half-assed" and I'll get mad at him for not repeating me, or giving me a "straight" answer. Its puts stress on my relationship, we work through it together though. Im going under his benefits so I can talk to a Psychiatrist. I dont want my parents knowing about this, Im not sure why.
I also think really crazy things. I heard a kid was complaining of ear aches and it turns out he had 2 spiders in his ear. I wear earplugs, and sometimes my ears hurt, so then I start thinking I have spiders in my ears. Or I think about getting raped, or having my car jacked. If i fucked up at work, I think theyre talking behind my back. I think of bad stuff mostly everyday, its only for a couple hours all together.
I was on the phone with my mom (they're away on holidays), and she told me 4 times throughout the conversation to get the mail from the house. I'm trying really hard to get rid of my OCD, but it's extremely hard when my mother has it and doesnt realize she has it. Ive told her twice she has OCD, but she didnt say anything..she just ignored me pretty much (sometimes she does that). She's contantly OCD, and I don't want to be around someone who has OCD because it annoys the shit out of me. I can understand how my boyfriend feels.
When im being OCD, which is literally everyday, I am so discrete about it. When someone is talking to me, I zone out and start thinking about my "lists". I get anxiety from being OCD as well. If something isn't done, or if I dont know where something is, or if I cant finish my list then I get bad anxiety. Sometimes I can't breathe. I do smoke marijuana as well and when I'm high, my mind wanders. So when Im being OCD and I'm high...Ill either go through my lists once, or a thousand times.
No one knows I have OCD besides my boyfriend, doctor, and whoever is reading this. Im going to see a Psychiatric in a couple months hopefully she/he can help me though this. Besides OCD and Anxiety, I also have somewhat of a Social Phobia, Minor Depression, and PTSD. I dont want to rely on a Psychiatric to help me, I want to help myself as well. I dont know if medication would be the best for me.
I would like other peoples thoughts and see how I can get help.
I didn't realize I had OCD until 5 months ago when I googled it. I'm always always always going over stuff, making sure I have everything. I obsess about it, and I'm always compulsing about it. When I make something for dinner, I make sure everything is put away before I start eating. When I go to school, I make sure I have everything. When I go to work (I work at a Law Office), I make sure I get everything done correctly and Im done everything on that file. This stresses me out because I don't have time for that at work. When I plug in my laptop, I make sure about 4 times that it's charging. Ill say something, and I have to repeat it. Ill get my boyfriend to repeat it so I know what I said. When we get into fights, I need him to repeat stuff so it goes through my head. Eventhough it's through my head...I just need it repeated to me. When I do my list of things Im supposed to have with me, Ill go through the list another 20 times to make sure I have everything. Its really stressful and ridiculous. When I play a video game, I save it 2 times. When I have a conversation, I always make sure I replied to everything and that I'm getting replied to. When me and my bf talk, sometimes he'll reply "half-assed" and I'll get mad at him for not repeating me, or giving me a "straight" answer. Its puts stress on my relationship, we work through it together though. Im going under his benefits so I can talk to a Psychiatrist. I dont want my parents knowing about this, Im not sure why.
I also think really crazy things. I heard a kid was complaining of ear aches and it turns out he had 2 spiders in his ear. I wear earplugs, and sometimes my ears hurt, so then I start thinking I have spiders in my ears. Or I think about getting raped, or having my car jacked. If i fucked up at work, I think theyre talking behind my back. I think of bad stuff mostly everyday, its only for a couple hours all together.
I was on the phone with my mom (they're away on holidays), and she told me 4 times throughout the conversation to get the mail from the house. I'm trying really hard to get rid of my OCD, but it's extremely hard when my mother has it and doesnt realize she has it. Ive told her twice she has OCD, but she didnt say anything..she just ignored me pretty much (sometimes she does that). She's contantly OCD, and I don't want to be around someone who has OCD because it annoys the shit out of me. I can understand how my boyfriend feels.
When im being OCD, which is literally everyday, I am so discrete about it. When someone is talking to me, I zone out and start thinking about my "lists". I get anxiety from being OCD as well. If something isn't done, or if I dont know where something is, or if I cant finish my list then I get bad anxiety. Sometimes I can't breathe. I do smoke marijuana as well and when I'm high, my mind wanders. So when Im being OCD and I'm high...Ill either go through my lists once, or a thousand times.
No one knows I have OCD besides my boyfriend, doctor, and whoever is reading this. Im going to see a Psychiatric in a couple months hopefully she/he can help me though this. Besides OCD and Anxiety, I also have somewhat of a Social Phobia, Minor Depression, and PTSD. I dont want to rely on a Psychiatric to help me, I want to help myself as well. I dont know if medication would be the best for me.
I would like other peoples thoughts and see how I can get help.
