I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering so badly. The only advice that I can give you is to go see a psychiatrist and get some meds and therapy. It certainly can't hurt your situation and I really hope you get better soon. I find that meds and therapy really keep me going when the going gets tough.
Its hard to accept the fact that you need medicatino for something that everyone else find so easy, but once you do it can really make your life much better. I wish you the best.
Peace