Hoarding & Cluttering

[witchblade]

This is my first time communicating here. I am very new to all of this.
I have alot of issues and am actively now working on them. I am a 37 , female.

I am a hoarder or extreme clutterer. I believe this represents my inner conflicts of the mind. I live at home with my parents and my bedroom is disgusting. It is full of magazines, papers, books, clothing and other stuff from my past. I am just getting worse. Now I am at the point were I drop my clothes anywhere in the house. I have been to cousenling and discussed it but it has not help me to help myself. This is causing great shame and conflict with my family, particullary my father. I do not know what to do. I am trying to educate my self...but when I look at my room I think...there is no way...its so overwhelming. I wonder what it would be like to live in a clean organized room...but then I wonder...oh my God now what will I do. I have been diagnois with depression and anxiety. Right now I am not taking any meds and have stopped going to counseling because I left a job that lasted 5 months and now have no health insurance. I work a couple of days at a hospital. I believe I may have avoident & dependent personality traits that play into my hoarding. I also pull and pick at hair/skin in one hotspot on my head. Years ago some psychiatrist stated I had Adustment disorder. I do not know much about this disorder but it makes sense.

I need to find therapists/professionals who specializes in working with hoarders. I live in a small town and that is a major problem.

Does anyone know where I can get help? I live in Orange County New York.
Can anybody relate to me :?: I feel so alone and hopeless. I have no real friendships and I do not talk about this to anybody.

 

[Thelema]

I have a really messy and gross room also. I'm in my closet right now :lol: it is the cleanest part of my room. I threw all my clothes on the floor before but now I put them on chairs.

I know what its like not to have anybody to talk to and feeling alone. You can always talk to me if you want.

 

[Puffinstuff]

Suffering through the Shame of hoarding

Witchblade, I know how you feel. I have been living in squalor for years and it has runined my life. Get Help NOW before it gets worse. Mine is so bad that I am being threatened with eviction and my landlord says he will call Childrens Protective Services. It is impossible for me to let other people touch my Stuff. People just do not understand. We exists but nobody talks about it. I have been reading a book by Randy Frost however there is not many books out there on this subject. I wonder why nobody cares...they just rather mock and ridicule. This disorder has to be related to so many others and is very complicated. Sometimes I feel safe around my stuff. Its a wall to protect me from the outside world. Then there are times I can not stand being in my apartment. I take my stuff and throw it and break it. It cant be called collecting because collectors take care and display their collections with pride. I cant believe I cant find anything else on this board about hoarding ( i guess its not important but we know it exists). It just shows me that it is a mystery to most of the public. Keep trying and do not let it overtake you. The shame and embarassment is what has kept me in the dark. Turn on the light.

 

[Puffinstuff]

Eviction

It looks like I am going to be EVICTED? This is not right and nobody cares. Its pathetic the amount of support shown here for hoarding, real supportive and helpful.

 

[theslowesthand]

I'm both a hoarder/clutterer AND a "neat freak", which is to say the least, "rather troublesome". Over the past few months especially, i've been trying to work out & resolve all this not-wanting-to-change stuff that i'hve been "bugged" by (causing my house to stay with the nice/friendly/safe-but-ugly/stressful/etc "decor" of clutter that it has had for years). Yes witchblade i agree that hoarding/clutter is very much related to the mind (same as littering is). I too have a "pull and pick" problem (I call it "plucking" - like plucking your eyebrows). Starting from childhood I had various physical nervous habits (licking lip, turning around (to "unwind" myself, as a wind-up clock), sticking hair in ear, lowering one shoulder, playing with (& plucking) eyebrow,..). Now it's just the eyebrows & beard really (leaving hairless spot/s under chin, which i need to use shaver so as to make symetrical). Something about pulling out facial hairs is "appealing" to me .. i think it could be the sensory sytimulation (& it only happens when i'm nervy/stressed - so it might "pacify" me, or sth similar)

With clutter, i've been in past several months, noting down my thoughts & experiences with this, & trying to work out what it's all about. Some of the semi-conclusions i come to are:
- I love most of my house objects more than i love myself & people
- When i "lose" an object (even move slightly), it's like a relationship/person has died/ended, & & i "grieve" for the loss (& suffer the associated depression/anxiety/etc). A similar (but more severe) loss/grief pattern occurs when say, you get burgeld, or your car gets stolen
- The "group" thing: I feel notably sad (more than anxious/..) when i break up a group of objects. I just have to change ONE of it's objects, and it's like the entire group has completely been destroyed


QUOTE:
The answer to everything is out there somewhere, on this earth, and in this world - (me @ 12/1/07)