Hi new to spw had sp for 5 years

[rigby1987]

hello im 21 years old male from uk leeds,

I will give a breif description of my past: 16 went on anti-depressants because of my sp and depression , got put on citolopram 20 mg , stopped the tablets for a while then started again at 17 on 40 mg citolopram all through to 19-20 and managed to get 6 free nhs cbt sessions,

However i went to this place to talk with the counsellor for a few times 3-4 times or so , anyway i then stopped going to see her (worst decision). also stopped taking antidepressants due to the lack of effort to return to the doctors as i was so worried about what the doctor thought of me stopping cbt

Well now im 21 and nearly 22 and my life is drifting away :

I have never had a girl , no car, job, money,social life ,absolutely nothing and ive just been existing in my tiny room ( still live with my mum) and i need to get back on track with this i know help isnt going to come to me magically, however ive been putting this off for ages now , self medicating drinking or just sleeping in bed all the time so i need to change this existance

Anyway im going to arrange an appointment to see the doc however i have a question thats really worrying me -

I dont know what to say to my doctor i really think he thinks ive thrown the previous help back in his face which makes me nervous about returning to him , i dont know what to say , can anyone suggest anything ? thankyou

 

[eckoz]

iwas in the same situation. the best thing to do i think is just get a full time job. ya you will be nervous the whole time and probly have extreme feelings of not wanting to go, at least i did. but the whole time i just took it step by step and eventually got through a full week of work and it felt really good. especially after not having a job for a LONG ASS TIME. and i mean really long. once u get ur own money, ul start becoming more confident.

 

[lizzz]

I did this too. Stopped going to the psychologist - and like you, I want to start again but scared of telling the doctor.
I regret it too - progress was slow - but I did feel I was getting better. My therapist did EMDR - and it was great as it got rid of a painful memory of mine (well made it not painful). I feel a right cheeky git for just ending it like I did (I cancelled an appointment for a legit reason, then just never got round to rearranging it without saying a word).

Hopefully, maybe this sort of thing happens alot with depressed people, d'you think, or am I jumping to conclusions? They may not automatically assume you took it for granted or were rude. (I hope).

Just this morning I went to the nurse for a final blood test in a course of 3, and despite talking to her in the last few weeks, she got me mixed up with someone else. Normally, I'd take that personally, but after reading this I'm thinking, might as well just start again with the therapy - maybe the doctor just won't think anything of it and I'm just one of hundreds.

This kind of dilemma probably only exists with SA ironically - probably most people who don't need the therapy wouldn't think twice about rebooking! Do you feel like you don't want to be a pest - I do.

 

[rigby1987]

eckoz- thank you for your reply and input but i really already had of gotten a job if i could , i mean i cant even go to the shop to buy milk, like where would i start ?

lizzz- thanks for the kind input

"Hopefully, maybe this sort of thing happens alot with depressed people, d'you think, or am I jumping to conclusions? They may not automatically assume you took it for granted or were rude. (I hope). "

yes i think ure correct there and also YES i do feel like i dont want to be a pest ...................................................................................................

I just wish i knew how to sort this out i mean even if i succeed in getting back to the doctors and cbt , i know myself all too well i just think aaaaaa she dont know what my head is like its in bits and pack it in agian

btw i didnt make that appointment for the doctors - bottled it as usuall...

thanks for the replies anyway

RIGBY