mollstarrr
New member
I am so pleased I've found this site, it seems like a great place to chill and learn from each other 
pleased to meetcha all.
Anyway, a bit about me...My name's Molly, I'm 19 and live in Bath. Ive had social anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember although it has never been diagnosed medically- I'm too much of a coward to talk to anyone besides the internet about it. Ive recently hit rock bottom..I can now admit to myself that I depend on booze to take away the pain of social interaction and recently my family think I've gone off the rails because I numb myself with wine or anything else i can get my hands on before seeing them, which makes them hate me even more; i'm no longer the weak, doormat type joke but the rude, unthoughtful one who stinks of booze. Christmas was hell, but at least i appeared confident. I lie to them about my social life saying I'm going out with my "friends", when really I am unable to so much as smile at someone my own age at university without feeling physically sick or having severe paranoid and negative thoughts. I skive univerity because im too anxious as to so much as walk into a class. People i meet either think I'm mute, disabled or just a massive bitch. I haven't had a real close friend since primary school, all my cousins hate my guts and to be honest im now beyond caring..im sick of the endless hangovers, the guilt, the lying and the whole general fakeness of my pathetic, worthless life. I dunno i used to be able to deal with this better, but i cant take this any longer. I am nrly 20 years of age and have absoltely NO friends, ambition or foundations to work up from. The whole concept of life and making one for myself away from my parents scares the living daylights out of me..im totally lost, im literally a recluse.
ugh sorry to probably spoil the festive spirit but i feel absoltely terrible :lol:
pleased to meetcha all.Anyway, a bit about me...My name's Molly, I'm 19 and live in Bath. Ive had social anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember although it has never been diagnosed medically- I'm too much of a coward to talk to anyone besides the internet about it. Ive recently hit rock bottom..I can now admit to myself that I depend on booze to take away the pain of social interaction and recently my family think I've gone off the rails because I numb myself with wine or anything else i can get my hands on before seeing them, which makes them hate me even more; i'm no longer the weak, doormat type joke but the rude, unthoughtful one who stinks of booze. Christmas was hell, but at least i appeared confident. I lie to them about my social life saying I'm going out with my "friends", when really I am unable to so much as smile at someone my own age at university without feeling physically sick or having severe paranoid and negative thoughts. I skive univerity because im too anxious as to so much as walk into a class. People i meet either think I'm mute, disabled or just a massive bitch. I haven't had a real close friend since primary school, all my cousins hate my guts and to be honest im now beyond caring..im sick of the endless hangovers, the guilt, the lying and the whole general fakeness of my pathetic, worthless life. I dunno i used to be able to deal with this better, but i cant take this any longer. I am nrly 20 years of age and have absoltely NO friends, ambition or foundations to work up from. The whole concept of life and making one for myself away from my parents scares the living daylights out of me..im totally lost, im literally a recluse.
ugh sorry to probably spoil the festive spirit but i feel absoltely terrible
:lol:
