I don't really have SA but then again its recently come to my attention that I am bad with eye contact and I've become more aware of this and its a small phobia now.
I believe I'm mostly just bad at eye contact while talking and in certain situations. I think I'm pretty normal otherwise but this one issue makes me kinda geeky.
A few basic questions I'd like answered:
When someone asks you a question and you answer them where do you look after you finish?
I think in the past I've looked down (which is bad) or away. Are you supposed to look back at them for another question? That just seems weird to me. For some reason I'm not good at observing/remember how others use their eye contact so I become bad at it myself. Do you look the same way if its a one word response vs a long response?
When you say hi to someone who breaks eye contact first?
This can be on the street or shaking hands with someone entering the door.
When listening to someone, is it true that you the listener should never break eye contact first? But if they look away, then you can look away until they look back? I guess I'm not really away where the listener is looking all the time when I'm talking.
Another spot I have is about the general eye contact when switching from listener to talker and vice versa. I feel like I don't hold eye contact enough in these spots and don't know when I should keep looking or not.
Are there any youtube vids of a group talking that would help me? I've tried looking a little bit but usually they use multiple cameras and they camera angle always changes making this hard to lookout for.
I've found that watching interviews on TV helps but its also a lot more straightforward because its just question after question. I have trouble with the on the spot interactions the most. This is especially true when I'm being asked questions that I don't know the answer to or have a short response. Then I just say "yes" or w/e and don't know where to look.
Is anyone else like this?
I also think I might move my head too much when talking/listening. I should probably keep it more still but then I feel like a robot
edit: let me be clear that this isnt really an anxitey issue. its an issue of me not observing other peoples eye contact enough to know what to model mine after.
I believe I'm mostly just bad at eye contact while talking and in certain situations. I think I'm pretty normal otherwise but this one issue makes me kinda geeky.
A few basic questions I'd like answered:
When someone asks you a question and you answer them where do you look after you finish?
I think in the past I've looked down (which is bad) or away. Are you supposed to look back at them for another question? That just seems weird to me. For some reason I'm not good at observing/remember how others use their eye contact so I become bad at it myself. Do you look the same way if its a one word response vs a long response?
When you say hi to someone who breaks eye contact first?
This can be on the street or shaking hands with someone entering the door.
When listening to someone, is it true that you the listener should never break eye contact first? But if they look away, then you can look away until they look back? I guess I'm not really away where the listener is looking all the time when I'm talking.
Another spot I have is about the general eye contact when switching from listener to talker and vice versa. I feel like I don't hold eye contact enough in these spots and don't know when I should keep looking or not.
Are there any youtube vids of a group talking that would help me? I've tried looking a little bit but usually they use multiple cameras and they camera angle always changes making this hard to lookout for.
I've found that watching interviews on TV helps but its also a lot more straightforward because its just question after question. I have trouble with the on the spot interactions the most. This is especially true when I'm being asked questions that I don't know the answer to or have a short response. Then I just say "yes" or w/e and don't know where to look.
Is anyone else like this?
I also think I might move my head too much when talking/listening. I should probably keep it more still but then I feel like a robot
edit: let me be clear that this isnt really an anxitey issue. its an issue of me not observing other peoples eye contact enough to know what to model mine after.
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