help me

[scaredlittlegirl]

Hi.
I'm 18 years old.
I have been having panic attacks since... i guess 14. Anyways... as i grew up they got worse.
They use to where i was going to get my heart broken and the boy i like dumped me or whatever (still happens too) But then they grew into someone is going to kill me and i come out of the attack almost as im about to die. Gradually they grew into the people i love and care about dying, i mean, shot, stabbed, beat to death... and in these attacks its almost as if im living in them.. they are so real to me. I have at least one EVERY night, sometimes during the day ill get one. I try to fight them, but when i do, i get them worse. The one tonight actually made me sick. really sick.
I'm scared. I just want them to go away.
I have been told to go to a physciatrist... but i dont want medicine to "make" me happy. These attacks are effecting everything in my life though and i dont know what to do.
theyve gotten so bad... i have to sleep with my blankey STILL and check under the bed. I NEED the TV to sleep... i am 18 years old. If i am alone in the dark, i will scream until someone gets me or tuns a light on... im truly terrified.. .i think if i move, someone will jump out and kill me. I dont want to be this paranoid. i need help.

 

[sabbath92001]

That's sounds more like hallucinations or psychotic episodes. Either way I don't think you can stop them but you may be able to become an observer of these events inside your mind and body. When you get them, just write down what's going on as impartially as you can. Remember nothing bad is really going to happen to you. Our minds and bodies lie to us all the time. They tell us that everything is going to go horribly wrong. But it's not true, we are going to be okay.

 

[cherene]

wow, i'm really sorry that this is happening. does anything make it better?
don't give up hope

 

[Emma]

I had something like that happen to me once last year, I don't remember it being exactly like that I just remember I couldn't breathe and then my parents said I was on the floor in the corner trying to hide from them because I thought they were going to hurt me.
maybe you could start off with little things to help you, do you have a sleep setting on your tv, maybe you could set it so that the tv turns itself off when you're already asleep, but you should go and see a psychiatrist, they won't make you take medicine if you really don't want to, but it might be helpful if you have someone to talk to about it