Hello

dark_ember

Member
I found out by mistake a few years ago that I had BPD. Upon researching it, I found I definately fit the criteria. But there was more to it. I struggled on for almost 4 years believing something was amiss. Anyway, I recently started looking around and came across AvPD. I fit all of the criteria, and I am convinced I have this too, alongside the BPD and the inevitable dysphoria. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow after sending him an email to inform him I want an 'accurate' diagnosis. I feel it would be in my own personal best interests to get a diagnosis once and for all.

Since coming across AvPD I feel relieved that I know what's finally wrong with me. I don't feel so 'crazy' anymore.
 

HopeAndrews

New member
Hi, Feels really strange leaving a post as i am not one to open up! I have tears in my eyes after coming across this website, i am no longer a freak ! ! I am 25 and have a 3 year old boy, i live with my parents who are wonderful but it has come to a point where if i do not get this sorted , my son will click that I'm not like other mothers! and that makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Whats so silly is that i know i need to go and get help but am frightened that they think I'm stupid !! And that fear rules my life! But hey, Hello everyone ! xxx
 

dark_ember

Member
HopeAndrews said:
Hi, Feels really strange leaving a post as i am not one to open up! I have tears in my eyes after coming across this website, i am no longer a freak ! ! I am 25 and have a 3 year old boy, i live with my parents who are wonderful but it has come to a point where if i do not get this sorted , my son will click that I'm not like other mothers! and that makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Whats so silly is that i know i need to go and get help but am frightened that they think I'm stupid !! And that fear rules my life! But hey, Hello everyone ! xxx

Hi Hope, I find it hard to open up too, but I don't think that makes us freaks. I have three children and my eldest knows quite a bit about what's going on with me, and I've found that by not keeping her in the dark about my illness is the best thing I could have done. Obviously I have taken care by what I have told her, and made the promise that certain things I don't feel she's ready to hear just yet, I will let her know when I feel she's old enough. Please don't feel ashamed Hope, it's not your fault you're like this. Well, I'm new to this site too but if you ever want to chat just let me know :) Maybe your mother could go to your GP with you to ask for you to be referred to a psychiatrist. I doubt very highly they will think you're stupid. It's a big step to take, this I know, but it will be the best step you could possibly take.

Take care Hope, and it's lovely to meet you x
 

HopeAndrews

New member
Thank you Dark for your lovely reply, I have actually been to my GP and i said i had depression which i do , but didnt tell him the whole truth as was too embarrassed and frightened about my child, have been on Prozac for past 3 months, has helped , but not with the going out alone !!!!!!! I hope too, i can make some alike friends here! xx
 

dark_ember

Member
HopeAndrews said:
Thank you Dark for your lovely reply, I have actually been to my GP and i said i had depression which i do , but didnt tell him the whole truth as was too embarrassed and frightened about my child, have been on Prozac for past 3 months, has helped , but not with the going out alone !!!!!!! I hope too, i can make some alike friends here! xx

I know it's difficult, but you have to try and be as honest as you can with your doctor and the people within the mental health. Are you worried they might try and take your son from you? They wouldn't take him away from you just because you're going through such a difficult time. They'd only ever consider doing something like that if they thought there was a risk of you hurting your child. Please don't let that stop you from getting the help you are entitled to.

I know what you are going through, because for a long time I was worried they'd take my kids from me because I 'wasn't well'. I've been in and out of hospital for certain self inflicted things, yet they have never found me a risk to my children. I wasted a lot of time worrying about the welfare of my kids, when I could have been open and recieved the appropriate help. Infact, I've totally had enough and have decided to take the bull by the horns and get myself sorted once and for all-for my kids. Who could ever hold that against you?? I apologise if some of this makes little sense, just want you to know you have no need to worry about your boy :) If you want to talk about anything or ask me any questions, please, do PM me :)

Sorry this reply is so long winded :D

Take care Hope x
 
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