happyhermit
New member
Hi everyone,
This is the first time in my life that I have joined any kind of internet group and I must say I feel more than a little awkward doing so. I am a 26 year old female who live in Ontario, Canada, and I'm starting to think I must have social anxiety disorder, although I never would have considered my feelings and behaviour to be a disorder, or even much of a problem, before. Granted, I've always considered myself to be uncomfortable in nearly all social situations, I never made a single friend in my six years at university, I only feel I can be myself when I'm alone or with my immediate family, and if I see someone I know while out shopping or something, my heart starts pounding so hard it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest and I feel the urge to quickly walk the other way so I don't have to speak to this person (this does bother me because I'd like to greet people with a friendly hello, and this has happenned a number of times over the past, say, 15 years).
The main reason I never thought I had a major problem is that I LOVE being alone: I love reading, playing piano, thinking, writing, dancing around my house, taking long walks, etc etc alone. I love my solitude and I like to think of myself as a happy introvert and simply a quiet, thoughtful person. I feel like I love humanity in the abstract, but the effort of talking with actual people is draining and often boring (and I feel very uncomfortable do so). I feel blessed to have a close, loving relationship with my sister and my mom, and I have two pretty close friends from elementary and high school (by close, I mean that we get together maybe 2 - 4 times a year). Usually, I don't really wish for more social contact, although occasionally I do.
The reason that I'm starting to admit I've got a problem is that I have anxiety symptoms nearly every day. I wake up in the morning with chest pains, I get frequent headaches, and I DREAD going to work-- I feel horrible and totally oppressed by the mere presence of others in the office. I feel nervous walking past others' desks to get something from the photocopier. It was like this all of last summer (from about May to August) (I've been in this job since last April), and on a number of other months-long occasions too. I may THINK that no one is judging me and I may THINK that I wouldn't care if they were, but, obviously, I FEEL like they are and I'm suffering for it.
There is more that I could write, but this is quite long so I'll leave it at that for now. Thank you so much to anyone who reads this!
This is the first time in my life that I have joined any kind of internet group and I must say I feel more than a little awkward doing so. I am a 26 year old female who live in Ontario, Canada, and I'm starting to think I must have social anxiety disorder, although I never would have considered my feelings and behaviour to be a disorder, or even much of a problem, before. Granted, I've always considered myself to be uncomfortable in nearly all social situations, I never made a single friend in my six years at university, I only feel I can be myself when I'm alone or with my immediate family, and if I see someone I know while out shopping or something, my heart starts pounding so hard it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest and I feel the urge to quickly walk the other way so I don't have to speak to this person (this does bother me because I'd like to greet people with a friendly hello, and this has happenned a number of times over the past, say, 15 years).
The main reason I never thought I had a major problem is that I LOVE being alone: I love reading, playing piano, thinking, writing, dancing around my house, taking long walks, etc etc alone. I love my solitude and I like to think of myself as a happy introvert and simply a quiet, thoughtful person. I feel like I love humanity in the abstract, but the effort of talking with actual people is draining and often boring (and I feel very uncomfortable do so). I feel blessed to have a close, loving relationship with my sister and my mom, and I have two pretty close friends from elementary and high school (by close, I mean that we get together maybe 2 - 4 times a year). Usually, I don't really wish for more social contact, although occasionally I do.
The reason that I'm starting to admit I've got a problem is that I have anxiety symptoms nearly every day. I wake up in the morning with chest pains, I get frequent headaches, and I DREAD going to work-- I feel horrible and totally oppressed by the mere presence of others in the office. I feel nervous walking past others' desks to get something from the photocopier. It was like this all of last summer (from about May to August) (I've been in this job since last April), and on a number of other months-long occasions too. I may THINK that no one is judging me and I may THINK that I wouldn't care if they were, but, obviously, I FEEL like they are and I'm suffering for it.
There is more that I could write, but this is quite long so I'll leave it at that for now. Thank you so much to anyone who reads this!