incandyhell
New member
8) i'm surprised to read other stories like my own. most days i feel completely alone is this world, i feel like some freak that can't connect to other human beings in any meaningful way. I don't have friends and co-workers/people get uncomfortable around me because i either say the wrong things or i say the right-but-inappropriate thing, as an attempt at humor which goes over most heads. my blunt, cut thru the bs way of conversating clearly scares people off, because i wind up saying things to them which start to make them feel like the discussion has gone down a very dark, twisted mental cul-de-sac they'd just as soon as get away from. It's like god or the devil left out an Important Part of me that everyone else takes for granted: i wish i knew what it was!
:evil: part of me is glad to shut out most of civilization and do the loner thing. my interactions with people are simply abnormal, and i can't seem to find my way in this world, neither socially nor career-wise. i'm pretty honest and very perceptive, and i zero in on personal or taboo things from way out in left field, and i imagine folks get scared by my ability to see things in them when i've just met them. or they wonder why i blurt out these conversation killers then nervously laugh, because i thought i made a funny joke but they CLEARLY don't get it! yeah, yeah, woe is me.
:roll: i don't know how to have ANY kind of relationships, either loving or friendships. it sucks to be me when i realize how lonely i am, but any effort i make to reach out to people ends in verbally awkward moments that make me too embarrassed to want to be seen again. it's easier to just stay away from everyone.
:lol: This is one day where I do something different, where i reach out and hope i'll find someone reaching back. hopefully they'll be as crazy as me, and understand how unbelievably hard it was to do this!
:!: Now I feel stupid and boring cuz i typed so much stuff... I'm prepared to be rejected by my own kind! Maybe I feel so vulnerable because I truly want to change my way of life, but I don't have a clue how to do it. I'm asking for help if there is any. HELP! THIS DISORDER SUCKS! I DON'T WANT TO HATE PEOPLE FOR NO REASON! (although I'm forever hatin' cell phone users who need to pay attention and shut the F&@K up! When you stop at a green light or in the middle of the street, if you ain't talking to 911 or me, it's time to hang it up!)
:evil: part of me is glad to shut out most of civilization and do the loner thing. my interactions with people are simply abnormal, and i can't seem to find my way in this world, neither socially nor career-wise. i'm pretty honest and very perceptive, and i zero in on personal or taboo things from way out in left field, and i imagine folks get scared by my ability to see things in them when i've just met them. or they wonder why i blurt out these conversation killers then nervously laugh, because i thought i made a funny joke but they CLEARLY don't get it! yeah, yeah, woe is me.
:roll: i don't know how to have ANY kind of relationships, either loving or friendships. it sucks to be me when i realize how lonely i am, but any effort i make to reach out to people ends in verbally awkward moments that make me too embarrassed to want to be seen again. it's easier to just stay away from everyone.
:lol: This is one day where I do something different, where i reach out and hope i'll find someone reaching back. hopefully they'll be as crazy as me, and understand how unbelievably hard it was to do this!
:!: Now I feel stupid and boring cuz i typed so much stuff... I'm prepared to be rejected by my own kind! Maybe I feel so vulnerable because I truly want to change my way of life, but I don't have a clue how to do it. I'm asking for help if there is any. HELP! THIS DISORDER SUCKS! I DON'T WANT TO HATE PEOPLE FOR NO REASON! (although I'm forever hatin' cell phone users who need to pay attention and shut the F&@K up! When you stop at a green light or in the middle of the street, if you ain't talking to 911 or me, it's time to hang it up!)
& remember that "they" are human too.. just like us they have their own fears too..