Having to make new friends

[anon_88]

Hi I'm new

Hi everyone, I'm new here. So after like a couple of years of hating high school I made a great group of friends, it took me another two years to feel fully comfortable with them, and I was able to travel with them, talk basically be completely relaxed, which I never thought would be possible. But there's a problem: I'm gay and they're straight, so now I have to go over that process all over again and it's frustrating, I have to make new friends, I have to get into this hole different scene where I'm a complete stranger and don't have the security my group provides me. And to top it all I have to be a sexual being you know? like talking to girls and trying to, idk, make moves? thats sooo out of my game, I was never like that, I was always a closeted lesbian in a straight world and it was the safest thing everr, not having to wonder about wether boys liked me or not cause I didn't care! Now I HAVE to care about all that stuff, and the social phobia rises, I can't talk to a girl, not like that at least.
Pot doesn't help, before I would smoke with my friends and have a great time, now if I'm in a gay club or that kind of situation and smoke pot I have to literally run and get the **** out of there, it gets so stressfull I feel everyone's watching me and noticing that I don't belong there, that I'm a newbie or whatever. I thing the relation between pot and anxiety is the feeling of being out of control, I don't know about you.
so anyways has anyone gone through anything similar? like maybe not because of homosexuality but other circumstances. I thought I was cured you know, I was in the cool crowd, traveled with my friends, had a normal life, that's what's so frustrating I guess.

 

[HeadFace]

Re: Hi I'm new

Hi everyone, I'm new here. So after like a couple of years of hating high school I made a great group of friends, it took me another two years to feel fully comfortable with them, and I was able to travel with them, talk basically be completely relaxed, which I never thought would be possible. But there's a problem: I'm gay and they're straight, so now I have to go over that process all over again and it's frustrating, I have to make new friends, I have to get into this hole different scene where I'm a complete stranger and don't have the security my group provides me. And to top it all I have to be a sexual being you know? like talking to girls and trying to, idk, make moves? thats sooo out of my game, I was never like that, I was always a closeted lesbian in a straight world and it was the safest thing everr, not having to wonder about wether boys liked me or not cause I didn't care! Now I HAVE to care about all that stuff, and the social phobia rises, I can't talk to a girl, not like that at least.
Pot doesn't help, before I would smoke with my friends and have a great time, now if I'm in a gay club or that kind of situation and smoke pot I have to literally run and get the **** out of there, it gets so stressfull I feel everyone's watching me and noticing that I don't belong there, that I'm a newbie or whatever. I thing the relation between pot and anxiety is the feeling of being out of control, I don't know about you.
so anyways has anyone gone through anything similar? like maybe not because of homosexuality but other circumstances. I thought I was cured you know, I was in the cool crowd, traveled with my friends, had a normal life, that's what's so frustrating I guess.

Soo, I'm a bit confused. Does your group know that you're gay? Would they dislike you if they found out? If they turn you down because you're a lesbian then trust me, you still haven't found your true friends yet. I mean they sound nice. Accepting you, and getting you to be relaxed and open around them. So I'd say go for it. But maybe taking it one step at a time, and eventually leading up to tellin them you are.
To be honest, I haven't gone anything like this. I'm straight. But my girlfriend is bi, and so is my best friend. I also know a friend who's gay (Isn't an actual friend though... More like friend of friends), and an ex-friend who's gay.

 

[anon_88]

they dont know, I feel that they didn't sign up for this. It's like you make friends in high school, you expect to hang out, have fun, but not a big emotional baggage and the possible social consequences of having a gay friend (I live in a veeeery conservative society).
I feel like I have to make new friends, gay friends, in order to be happy, meet people like me, etc., but I don't want to do that because I hate meeting new people, it takes me forever to feel comfortable, I don't want to have to go through that again.
thabks for replying . this forum seems like a nice place.