Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
First off, this isn't a blatant attack to those that are shy. This is from my own experience. Because I was so shy, in fact, that I became a 'people pleaser'. You know what that's like? Agreeing with people because you're too afraid to have a difference of opinion...? Never having 'real' friends because you could never open up and be yourself? Letting other people step on you, because they were assholes and you couldn't stand up to them?
If you've felt anything like this, this one goes out to you. If you don't feel like this, you're probably not shy to begin with! It's normal, but if you want to feel better about yourself, less afraid, and maybe even a little more motivated, you've come to the right place. All you have to do is break a few bad habits.
1. You have to know you have nothing to prove.
I struggled with this day and night. By day, I would try to prove (to the world) that I was a happy, likable guy. By night, I'd try to prove I was confident, and think I was better than some other people. (not literally by day and night, but you get the idea). The only thing is, I never felt any better on either side of the fence. Actually, I felt quite a lot like shit, because I was trying to prove myself, instead of just being myself. I was trying to be 'worthy' of being liked. And this made me very fearful, and no matter how many friends I had, I still felt secluded - because I could never open up to them. And let me tell you, I never want to be in that position again.
By trying to prove something to other people, the message you send to your own mind is simply "I don't like myself, so I'm going to hide my true personality and hope that more people like me!". But the thing is, people like you more when you're yourself anyway! So point #1: Be yourself, and like that person you are.
2. Grow some damn balls!
Like I said, this statement isn't a belittling one. When I say this, I really mean "Embrace yourself, love yourself, and do it no matter who tries to stand in your way!". Like I said about avoiding conflict and confrontation - it's always to your own expense (in case you haven't noticed, both steps 1 and 2 are pretty much two sides to the same issue).
In my quest to try to be the most 'people-pleasing-most-likable-guy-in-the-universe', I would consequently get picked on often by both family and friends. Why? Cause I was an easy target. I had a developed, matured personality of my own (and so do you, believe it or not), but I just wouldn't let it show. Therefore, people perceived me as being weak and if I was ever insulted, I'd just agree with them. Even though I wanted to punch some of them in the face, I held myself back.
But when you 'grow some balls' and let your own personality show, somehow you get a little more well-deserved respect. It's not about being higher or lower than anybody else, it's all about seeing yourself as an equal. And it also shows that nobody, in the entire world, can ever make you happy. Only you can.
Anyways, yeah. Don't make the same mistake I did, being a people-pleaser is probably the most degrading thing one can do to themselves! Good luck, I pass the torch on to you
If you've felt anything like this, this one goes out to you. If you don't feel like this, you're probably not shy to begin with! It's normal, but if you want to feel better about yourself, less afraid, and maybe even a little more motivated, you've come to the right place. All you have to do is break a few bad habits.
1. You have to know you have nothing to prove.
I struggled with this day and night. By day, I would try to prove (to the world) that I was a happy, likable guy. By night, I'd try to prove I was confident, and think I was better than some other people. (not literally by day and night, but you get the idea). The only thing is, I never felt any better on either side of the fence. Actually, I felt quite a lot like shit, because I was trying to prove myself, instead of just being myself. I was trying to be 'worthy' of being liked. And this made me very fearful, and no matter how many friends I had, I still felt secluded - because I could never open up to them. And let me tell you, I never want to be in that position again.
By trying to prove something to other people, the message you send to your own mind is simply "I don't like myself, so I'm going to hide my true personality and hope that more people like me!". But the thing is, people like you more when you're yourself anyway! So point #1: Be yourself, and like that person you are.
2. Grow some damn balls!
Like I said, this statement isn't a belittling one. When I say this, I really mean "Embrace yourself, love yourself, and do it no matter who tries to stand in your way!". Like I said about avoiding conflict and confrontation - it's always to your own expense (in case you haven't noticed, both steps 1 and 2 are pretty much two sides to the same issue).
In my quest to try to be the most 'people-pleasing-most-likable-guy-in-the-universe', I would consequently get picked on often by both family and friends. Why? Cause I was an easy target. I had a developed, matured personality of my own (and so do you, believe it or not), but I just wouldn't let it show. Therefore, people perceived me as being weak and if I was ever insulted, I'd just agree with them. Even though I wanted to punch some of them in the face, I held myself back.
But when you 'grow some balls' and let your own personality show, somehow you get a little more well-deserved respect. It's not about being higher or lower than anybody else, it's all about seeing yourself as an equal. And it also shows that nobody, in the entire world, can ever make you happy. Only you can.
Anyways, yeah. Don't make the same mistake I did, being a people-pleaser is probably the most degrading thing one can do to themselves! Good luck, I pass the torch on to you
