Rigil
Active member
Hello all!
I am a 38yo male, and have been dealing with social phobia for almost 25 years.
Identifying that, and coming to terms with it are rather new to me.
I have much to "unlearn", particularly in this region.
Where I live, it is not uncommon for someone with a mental illness to be labeled "the devil" or "welfare seeker".
There's not much to choose from, when trying to get good consistent help either.
Another interesting thing to note:
Before I learned (admitted, as well) what I suffered from, I would attempt to "fight through it", largely because of the stigma here.
That doesn't mean there was no foolish pride on my part, though.
The last job I had, I had lost weight to 89lbs.
My coworkers were seriously concerned, but no one in this area knows how to approach something like that.
That allowed rumors to start flying.
Rumors including:
Add a high metabolism rate, increased heart rate (again anxiety), and a nocturnal work shift and voila- dramatic head turning weight loss.
The rumors did hurt, but not as much as telling anyone I was scared and what I was scared of.
After a few months of fuming, but not defending myself I simply stopped going in.
Of course, I knew this was wrong, and it utterly shattered my already low self esteem.
Ten years and +80 pounds later, I'm doing somewhat better.
I've still got a way to go, and every time I turn around something occurs that can be a set back.
I'm determined to get there, though. I've had enough of the fear and shame to last many, many lifetimes.
I am a 38yo male, and have been dealing with social phobia for almost 25 years.
Identifying that, and coming to terms with it are rather new to me.
I have much to "unlearn", particularly in this region.
Where I live, it is not uncommon for someone with a mental illness to be labeled "the devil" or "welfare seeker".
There's not much to choose from, when trying to get good consistent help either.
Another interesting thing to note:
Before I learned (admitted, as well) what I suffered from, I would attempt to "fight through it", largely because of the stigma here.
That doesn't mean there was no foolish pride on my part, though.
The last job I had, I had lost weight to 89lbs.
My coworkers were seriously concerned, but no one in this area knows how to approach something like that.
That allowed rumors to start flying.
Rumors including:
- Cocaine abuse
- Anorexia or bulimia
- Aids
- poisoning
Add a high metabolism rate, increased heart rate (again anxiety), and a nocturnal work shift and voila- dramatic head turning weight loss.
The rumors did hurt, but not as much as telling anyone I was scared and what I was scared of.
After a few months of fuming, but not defending myself I simply stopped going in.
Of course, I knew this was wrong, and it utterly shattered my already low self esteem.
Ten years and +80 pounds later, I'm doing somewhat better.
I've still got a way to go, and every time I turn around something occurs that can be a set back.
I'm determined to get there, though. I've had enough of the fear and shame to last many, many lifetimes.