Going to lose my fiance because of my anxiety

[rainy512]

I met my fiance over 2 years ago. I was up front with him about my Social Phobia from the beginning. I knew he didn't really understand it but he seemed ok with it. I live in government housing because I am unable to work. Last night he told me that when we get married, I'm gonna have to grow up and get over this anxiety because we will be moving into a house. He wants me to go out and get a job. He told me that I really dont have a problem....that I am just complacent. He said he doesnt understand why I enjoy living on welfare and dont want any better for me and my children. That broke my heart. I want so much better for my kids. I'm ashamed that I cannot do better for them. He says that were he in the same situation as I am, he would suck it up and do what needs to be done. I am so sick of him putting me down and making me feel even less of a person than I already do. I love him so much and I want to be with him but I feel he's trying to shape me into someone I'm not, someone i can't be.

 

[lithium]

If he really loves you, he should be more understanding of your social anxiety. Maybe you can start by getting some therapy and eventually you can improve yourself to what he wants you to be.

 

[lurknomore]

I agree with lithium, and in addition to therapy for yourself, maybe he could go to a few sessions with you as well- it sounds like he doesn't really understand how SA affects people, or it could help if he's just frustrated with the situation, and perhaps a therapist could help him understand better or find ways of coping until you get better.

 

[tuxtux]

If he really loves you, he should be more understanding of your social anxiety. Maybe you can start by getting some therapy and eventually you can improve yourself to what he wants you to be.

More importantly, therapy can help you be what YOU want yourself to be.
Other than that, I agree with lurknomore - coming along to a few therapy sessions with you might help him understand your SA better. Or you could give him some reading material about how SA affects people, if you haven't already?