Jx90
New member
I dont know if this is the right plcae for this, but its all I could find.
Now first i will say that 2-3 or so years ago I had tons of depression and social problems when i was 12-13,( I stayed inside after school by myself mostly, I used to get picked on alot etc etc.) now ive pretty muched fixed all of it up.
Now, abotu 2 years ago or so I would go to a local gym to get personal training to fix my weight problem at the time, it ended up getting so boring that maybe 3 or 4 times I did something that disgusts me to think about now, I would go into the restroom on the weight room floor and ********* in a locked stall fast to pass maybe 10 minutes of the hour session.
And another thing i did was kids would always talk about ********** during school and sadly I tried it. (maybe 1 and a half years to 2 ago) I would play with myself underneath my sweat shirt during school when peopel were asleep after tests or when there wasnt much going on that would cause attention.(i did it maybe 3-4 times over the course of 2 years)Even as I type this I feel complete disgust over what I did, but besides being grossed out by how weird I was I didnt think more into it.
Now since I have gotten paranoid recently I thought about that and realized what If i could have gotten the virus from doing those things, I cant remember what the situation was like (if i touched something on the way into the bathroom or touched something in class) I know HIV dries up fast but i still cant seem to get this out of my head, it seems since I fixed one bad thing in my life now another bad problem has come about).
I have a therapist appointment thursday for my extremem paranoia/anxiety problems but I just dont feel that its going to help me because it may be hard for me to explainw hat ive done to a person up front.
Now first i will say that 2-3 or so years ago I had tons of depression and social problems when i was 12-13,( I stayed inside after school by myself mostly, I used to get picked on alot etc etc.) now ive pretty muched fixed all of it up.
Now, abotu 2 years ago or so I would go to a local gym to get personal training to fix my weight problem at the time, it ended up getting so boring that maybe 3 or 4 times I did something that disgusts me to think about now, I would go into the restroom on the weight room floor and ********* in a locked stall fast to pass maybe 10 minutes of the hour session.
And another thing i did was kids would always talk about ********** during school and sadly I tried it. (maybe 1 and a half years to 2 ago) I would play with myself underneath my sweat shirt during school when peopel were asleep after tests or when there wasnt much going on that would cause attention.(i did it maybe 3-4 times over the course of 2 years)Even as I type this I feel complete disgust over what I did, but besides being grossed out by how weird I was I didnt think more into it.
Now since I have gotten paranoid recently I thought about that and realized what If i could have gotten the virus from doing those things, I cant remember what the situation was like (if i touched something on the way into the bathroom or touched something in class) I know HIV dries up fast but i still cant seem to get this out of my head, it seems since I fixed one bad thing in my life now another bad problem has come about).
I have a therapist appointment thursday for my extremem paranoia/anxiety problems but I just dont feel that its going to help me because it may be hard for me to explainw hat ive done to a person up front.
