Girl has a choice of two guys- chooses him not me!

[steviegerrard489]

Hi there, I posted on here a few months ago but am not a regular visitor.

At work there is a rather nice girl who recently split from her fiance. After this happened she started flirting with me a lot.

For various reasons I was away over christmas and the new year. When I got back she started flirting again. I started making a bit more of an effort to show interest and didn't want to rush things. Then out of the blue (a few days ago), a friend told me she had started seeing this other guy in the office! I also saw this for myself but pretended not to see them. (They seem to be trying to keep it secret from everyone else).

I could not believe my bad luck and it hurts!

I've stopped visiting her desk and also stopped emailing (we did converse quite a bit beforehand). Now I cannot bare to see them together and just feel like avoiding them at all costs!

I hope you guys don't make the mistake I made - waiting too long and not acting straight away. If I had asked her out earlier I could have avoided all this pain!

Now I just feel like an idiot!

 

[cptkoi]

You had a lucky escape if you ask me. You say she had just ended with her fiancée, well if they had been together for a while she would be on the rebound and you would have been that rebound guy.

 

[mienaino]

The first time you experience something, it most impresses you. The first milk-shake you drink is the coldest and sweetest milk-shake you will ever drink in your life, and the same applies to relationships. That is why people reminisce about their first relationships, their high-school sweetheart, their 6th grade crush, as they get old. People look for that feeling, but in each new relationship it is shorter lived and less novel than in the last. They know what they're missing and they search for the fastest and easiest path to it, but little do they realize that by overindulging in their desire for that unique spark of youthful vigour, lust, and love, they are phasing it out of their lives completely, and relationships become bland and no different, one from the next. You don't have that to worry about. She does. Find someone as experienced in love as you are, and the relationship will be equally important to both of you. That is all I have to suggest.

 

[wardrobe]

I hope you guys don't make the mistake I made - waiting too long and not acting straight away. If I had asked her out earlier I could have avoided all this pain!

Now I just feel like an idiot!

heyy.

if i had a pound for the amount of times ive waited to long or backed out from asking woman out, id be a very rich man.
Like the guys above me have stated, she may of been on the rebound, and belive me that would of braught a hell of a lot more pain.

i dont know if you have this same problem, but when i start to get close to a relationship. i will distance my self, because negative thaughts will come rushing to my head. like 'what if she doesnt like me the next time i see her' or 'she can do a hell of a lot better than me'. and 99% of the time the girl i was seeing will eventually fall out with me because she thinks i dont like her any more, when its just me, that struggles to admit and confront my problems. and because its happened so many times in the past, thats one of the main reasons i wait so long, and it can be really irritating.

To be honest it sounds to me that youve had a lucky escape. i know its hard to see a girl your really into with another guy. but it would be a lot harder if she did turn out to be on the rebound.