frustration with friends and school

[spw1234]

I am just frustrated with my life right now. I just received a phone call from one of my friends who is in my physics group, and she told me that we were all going to meet the next day to work on the physics project. I have a music lesson that day, so I told her I couldn't do it, so I suggested another day. The problem is, that she and the rest of the group had already decided that that day was the only suitable one for all of them, and word traveled amongst all of them, and she was the only one to tell me about it. I do not have a great history with my other group members except maybe one, and I hate that only she wants to talk to me to tell me stuff about our project. The other ones give me dirty looks, and just do not like me very much. I also missed a project meeting last time, but it was because I lied and said that I had a head ache and couldn't go. I didn't feel comfortable being around them and discussing things with them because I tend to become very anxious and shy. Sometimes I may come off as mean to them, but I am really trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and basically using it as a defense mechanism. I don't want people to think I am mean, but sometimes I purposely do not talk to people or say hi to avoid awkwardness and weird eye contact that I give sometimes. I sometimes get a nervous or mean face, and I do not know why.

 

[sabbath92002]

I am just frustrated with my life right now. I just received a phone call from one of my friends who is in my physics group, and she told me that we were all going to meet the next day to work on the physics project. I have a music lesson that day, so I told her I couldn't do it, so I suggested another day. The problem is, that she and the rest of the group had already decided that that day was the only suitable one for all of them, and word traveled amongst all of them, and she was the only one to tell me about it. I do not have a great history with my other group members except maybe one, and I hate that only she wants to talk to me to tell me stuff about our project. The other ones give me dirty looks, and just do not like me very much. I also missed a project meeting last time, but it was because I lied and said that I had a head ache and couldn't go. I didn't feel comfortable being around them and discussing things with them because I tend to become very anxious and shy. Sometimes I may come off as mean to them, but I am really trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and basically using it as a defense mechanism. I don't want people to think I am mean, but sometimes I purposely do not talk to people or say hi to avoid awkwardness and weird eye contact that I give sometimes. I sometimes get a nervous or mean face, and I do not know why.

I think you answered your own question. You are sometimes mean to protect yourself, then people are mean back at you. We get what we give. If you're friendly then people will generally be friendly towards you. If you are quiet, people might misread that as being non-friendly. I'm reading a book called "The Wisdom of Negative Thinking" in which the author posits that our negative thinking is just protecting us from further harm, like you said. The author says that when you are ready to heal then give yourself and others unconditional love and understanding. It's hard but we need to trust others and open ourselves up a little.