Frustrated with being single...

[Septor]

The boy's got moral character, *swoons* .

You sound like a lovely guy zero, the girls you're meeting must not know what they're missing 8).

I know that it still seems like society might expect men to be more confident, extroverted and strong... but it can be just as hard for a girl with SA but for different reasons.

It might be easier to have a relationship when you're an SA girl because it's still mostly customary for guys to make the approach. However, there's a real danger for a girl with SA of getting into an abusive relationship because domestically violent men usually try to isolate their partners from their friends/family and other people and emotionally manipulate them. The low self-esteem and self-worth someone with SA has makes emotional manipulation really easy. .

It's not hard to see how someone with SA would play into the hands of someone who operates likes that. There are men like that who even prey on girls simply because they can tell how shy they are :x.

This is what happened to me. My ex-husband started to use my fears and insecurities against me. He hit me and whenever I tried to get help for my anxiety and depression, he would talk me out of it by making me more paranoid than I already was.

No-one would be able to do this to me now as I am tougher and stronger than I was then, but its left some emotional scarring.

Im truly sorry that happen to you yetisbabe.Its good that you reconize it for what it.Some women never reconize it or if they do its to late or they get killed before they reconize it

 

[sickofbeinglonely]

I've been hanging back for years but unfortunately I've isolated myself so much that it's become impossible for me to connect with any women. I really have a problem with eye contact and feel very self-conscious in public and even on forums like this which I know is crazy as we're all in the same boat! :?

It's been a long time since I've really evaluated just what I want from a relationship. I've become very apathetic and feel very empty inside. People I've spoken to have never really understood why I feel that I'm unattractive and have little to offer. Even though I would still find it impossible to approach a woman I found attractive I find it depressing that I don't get excited by anyone anymore. A friend of mine says that's most likely to be my medication. I used to find the urges very frustrating but it now feels worse. I can't win!!

I'm sure someone has probably said this before on this site about themselves but a lot of my good points (the fact that I'm polite, kind, generous and have a lot of respect for women) actually get in the way of me achieving anything! I feel as though approaching a woman I fancy is an invasion of their privacy.

Somehow I've taken the defeatist attitude. I don't feel angry anymore when I hear about more arseholes getting women than nice men. But it still sickens me when I've heard about how some men have treated their partners or women in general.

 

[Morpheusz]

Hello Zerohour

I too can relate with what you're going through. Going back a few years, I would have a tough time with women/relatioships. My confidence was down along with my self esteem. I would avoid eye contact and get "Marble Mouth" when talking with women. I was a "blusher" as well. One day, I decided to pick up a few books on how to meet women, starting working out, eating healthier, etc.... Soon enough, I started dating and have had many relationships since. I know I will never be considered "Normal" and that is perfectly fine with me. I dont mind taking some risks and acting like a fool.
It unfortuante that shy people just get overlooked