friend probllems...[or lack thereof]

[GreenFinch]

i have a problem with making friends. i don't know why. i'm naturally a shy person, i know, but i've come to a new school [freshman at a high school outside of my district.] the school i go to is a charter school so most people didn't know eachother and it seems everyone has their own little group. i sorta do...i just don't as close to them as i want. and there are a bunch of people i want to be friends with and i try. whenever they're together or i sit by them, i try to talk and include myself in the conversation, but it's either a] i can't do it so seamlessly and casually like other people or b] it seems as if they don't want me speaking to them. i want to believe the latter isn't true because they're really nice girls but...it's hard. after have my 7th and 8th grade year virtually friendless, i want a good core group of people. i need it. i just don't know how to get it...

and whenever i try to talk to people who're okay friends of mine or some who're good friends, i don't think they get that i want to be closer to them. they're just like "oh, no one hates you, blah blah blah,". it sucks so much. i just want some good friends!!!!!!

i try to do everything in my power to make friends; start conversation, be positive, etc, but it seems that the people who DON'T do it seem to have more, closer friends. example; there're these two girls, shannon and tess. don't get me wrong, they're sweet, nice girls but shannon has said she doesn't start conversation because she's quiet and has a few good friends and tess always puts herself down and ***** and it's the same way. I HATE IT.

 

[emmdee]

I have exactly the same problem. There are people who are acquaintances, people who think i'm okay to be around, but would they want me as a good, maybe even best friend? Hell no. It's so annoying. And the people who i thought i would be friends with forever moved, so now they don't even talk to me, nor care anymore.

What really put me down was work yesterday (and today). I am hearing all of these things from the associates i work with that are like "Okay i'll text you about the movie." or "Remember you're coming over tomorrow." But would they ever say that to me, let alone ask for my cellphone number? Nope. I don't even know why i bother having a cellphone if no one calls me...in fact, i bought a back of pens at my work because my mother was yelling at me for losing all of hers, and the person scanning my purchases told me that i was weird because i wanted a dollar cash back for the freaking payphone because i forgot my cellphone and did not know we had a phone back at customer service we can use (Nor did i have the change on me.)

So i know how annoying and frustrating it can be. I guess all we can do is try our best and be ourselves. I mean, it doesn't matter in the end really anyway.

 

[millymoocow]

OhMyGosh, you just both descibed me to a T!

One of the worst things about SA for me is talking to friends. You try to join in the convo, and you finally get the chance to say something, but you don't know what to say, so you say something you hope they'll like and accept and agree on, and they usually don't. And then self-hate creeps up on you and you wish you'd die. I just wish that I and other SA sufferers didn't have to go through all this, so we could at least be not as bad. :?

But of course, that's never gonna happen, is it? Unless we know how to. And that's one thing, my friends, I haven't figured out yet.

 

[emmdee]

Oh man, i know exactly what you mean. I hate it. It's the reason why none of my friends like me that much.

-sigh- All we can really do is hope it'll be different one day.