incomprehensible
Member
last night i smoked dope for the first time in 7 months even though promising myself then not too smoke it again becaause i thought it was messing me up. Anyway my reaction too it was sickening i felt deeply depressed with flashbacks to just everyday things from the last few months that made me feel strong guilt and embarrassment for no ratioanl reason and i had this almost epiphany feeling that i was so fucked up that i had too die and everyone was suffering too much for me to continue living, so suicide became foremost on my mind. I started feeling that even small mistakes ive made had really had terrible consequences that made everyone think iwas the most sickest scum too have ever lived. Then i started thinking this was my minds punishment to me for breaking the promise too my recently gone father to not smoke pot again- some punishment out of my control. Weirder delusions began after that.
Anyway cut a long story short, i lay there in this paralyzing(literally) depression and deluded state for hours till straightening up anf finally going to sleep. I will say i had no paranoia though(i was tottaly oblivious to everything around me) which i think is the more typical negative reaction to dope.
Has anyone felt or heard of this type of reaction after a one off use of dope with no other drugs or alcohol to interact. What could this reaction be called? and why?
it seems for me i get 'extremely low' as opposed to 'high' on dope.
Anyway cut a long story short, i lay there in this paralyzing(literally) depression and deluded state for hours till straightening up anf finally going to sleep. I will say i had no paranoia though(i was tottaly oblivious to everything around me) which i think is the more typical negative reaction to dope.
Has anyone felt or heard of this type of reaction after a one off use of dope with no other drugs or alcohol to interact. What could this reaction be called? and why?
it seems for me i get 'extremely low' as opposed to 'high' on dope.