First Time User - Sharing my Problems/Experience! =]

[fear_of_interviews]

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting to this site. I was really glad to find this site, as I thought it would be helpful to hear other people's experiences (similar to mine-I'm not alone!) and to share my current situation with SA. Now, I haven't been to a doctor as of yet but I have recently been researching my symptoms and what I feel, and am pretty confident I have some sort of SA.

My problems, looking back, probably started in high school (I'm now 21). I slowly became very shy with new people, would even find myself stuttering or not knowing what to say, and would avoid doing ANYTHING that put me at the center of attention. These problems only escalated during my time in college earning my bachelor's degree.

My SA has now seemed to focus on job interviews. I cannot for the life of me stop thinking....rather BELIEVING....that I will mess up horribly, choke up, and look like an idiot. I know I'm exaggerating and need to modify my thinking, but it's MUCH easier said than done. Especially since I do start shaking really bad in interviews (my hands and especially my voice...which is bad in an interview!!). My heart also beats so hard I feel like the interviewer can literally see it! Needless-to-say, it's been a year since I earned my degree and I still have yet to get a job. I've pretty much stopped applying at places because I fear I'm just going to bail out on the interview at the last minute (and burn connections in the industry before I even get in it!). This only makes it worse because I truly feel like a failure even though I have a frickin' degree and am working on getting my Master's now!!! Stupid, right?

Does anyone else have similar feelings about job interviews? Or with presentations? Any success stories? What has been the most effective way to battle the problem: therapy, medication (I know medication wouldn't be a magic pill to make everyone ok!), meditation, self-help books, etc.

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Tripolar]

Sorry I'm horrible at interviews I still can't figure out how I got hired. But welcome and I hope someone else can help out with some advice.

 

[kihira]

I'd suggest talking to your doctor about it and maybe considering therapy and/or medication - especially if you are experiencing anxiety in other situations. The shaking/heart beating comes from an adrenaline rush, maybe some hard exercise in the hours before might help keep this under wraps. Doing practice interviews could also be helpful, so that the mind gets used to interviews, doesn't see them as such a threat and doesn't release the adrenaline.

Edit: and also say in the interview that you're feeling nervous so that its in the open and you can relax a bit - I've done this

 

[pebblesdundee]

Hi, welcome to the site

 

[anuskas]

I have a similar problem (oral presentations at uni) so I can´t help you much but the only thing that seems to soften our suffering is being well prepared. I don´t take any meds.

 

[fear_of_interviews]

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! I've gradually through the years gotten more anxious in situations over the past 5 years, but graduating and having to go on real interviews set me over the edge to the point now I feel I can't get through it. I'm "stuck in a rut" for lack of better words =]. I've only made it worse for myself by going a year since graduating without a job, because at this point, I feel stupid for not pursuing it harder. I'm at the point where I get nervous just to apply for a job because I know, chances are, I will be getting a call back for an interview. How can something like an interview, that people do everyday, consume my mind completely? I can just imagine the interview...

So I see you haven't had any work for the past year...

Yeah, I have a fear of talking to you people and looking like an idiot, so I've gone without. But now I'm serious, I really mean it...

So far though, this site has been helpful to come and read whenever I'm feeling particularly down/anxious about my situation. It was nice to find out that I'm not just a big wuss that can't handle "normal" nerves like everyone else =].

 

[superfluouslyme]

I have a similar problem with interviews. I talked to my therapist about it and told her that I'm certain that people can tell when I'm nervous, whether it be through my eyes or my speech or whatever. She asked if I was nervous coming in and talking to her. I said yes. She said that she couldn't tell and that most people aren't nearly as "expressive" with their nervousness as they think they are.

Welcome!

 

[fear_of_interviews]

I have a similar problem with interviews. I talked to my therapist about it and told her that I'm certain that people can tell when I'm nervous, whether it be through my eyes or my speech or whatever. She asked if I was nervous coming in and talking to her. I said yes. She said that she couldn't tell and that most people aren't nearly as "expressive" with their nervousness as they think they are.

Welcome!

And, aside from the interview, many people probably don't care whether or not we're nervous! But for me, I'm positive they know I'm nervous in interviews because my voice is EXTREMELY shaky and I feel as though I lose my breath speaking. I need to practice breathing and talking slower, I'm sure.

 

[upndwn]

Welcome to the forums Fear of interviews.

Personally I'm terrified by interviews and any form of oral presentations in front of a large crowd, even though my social anxiety is all but cured now. I think this is a rather common phobia shared by many people, not only those suffering from SP.

The only way to overcome this fear is to face it. Engage in interviews, hold speeches, teach classes, anything where you have to expose yourself and talk to strangers help.

Personally I was forced to face my social phobia when I got the job as daily manager for a cafeteria. I had to face new customers every day, and teach new employees the ropes as well as attend meetings with my bosses at a regular basis.

While this helped me overcome most of my SP, I still can't handle speaking to large crowds and going to job interviews so you're not alone.