skins
1
I’m in a spot of bother and don’t know what to do. I’m 24yo and live at home with parents. For the first time ive found a permanent full time job which Ive had for nearly 3months now, before that I only did odd jobs a couple of hours a day. After feeling the guilt and pressure of being dependent on parents and the government for support, I finally forced myself into getting full time employment, but now that I’m doing it, it has all but killed me. I’m just not coping at all, I can’t cope with the hours 8.30-5.00 5 days a week, I can’t cope with the stress and anxiety, and forced social interaction day in day out. I need my solitude just to cope with everyday life and I like my freedom too much, which I’m not getting now and its doing me a lot of damage. But that is my dilemma, I can’t just quit and go back to the way I was being dependent on people for my own existence, the shame and guilt is too much. But being at work I feel constant anxiety all the time, I go to lunch and can barely eat, I notice my hands shaking, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, I feel so trapped. The depression I suffer seemingly daily is almost unbearable, and would kill myself in an instant if I wasn’t so scared of dying. I have promised myself to stick work for atleast one year then have a break and find a different job but I just dunno if I can do it, its so hard.
The best advice I can give anyone with sp is don’t take on full time work unless your absoluty sure u can handle it, otherwise find some sort of part time work or work with little human contact until you sort it out.
I sit here at home supposed to be enjoying my xmas holiday, but all a sudden things just got 100 times worse. During a xmas visit from family members, I made a comment which offended my mum and later lead to both my parents in concluding that my sp is severe enough that I need to do something about it, and I if don’t then I must move out. I don’t think they are serious on the threat, but my sp wasn’t a real problem to them before and I don’t think dad even knew, but now they both think I’m crackers and it kills me, I feel so ashamed around them now, I think I will just have to move out, I have already been to a psychologist which was a waste of money and I’m not going back again.
I was hoping to use this weeks break to recover from the stress of work, buts that’s all been shattered, and now it looks like I might be looking for a place to live instead. I can’t believe it, one fucking comment and my holiday is ruined, dam my sp brain I just want it to end. To me life is a constant nightmare, I guess this was the straw that broke the camels back, as my sp has lead me to behaviours that were bordering on psychotic before but these incidents were forgotten. I don’t know why things come out of my mouth sometime but they just do, its not me, it’s the sp talking through me. I don’t know if I can cope on my own, I really don’t want to but it’s looking more and more likely. It seems like a daunting task for someone with sp to find a place of their own? With my current job I hardly have enough time as it is, then I would need time for buying food, paying bills, cooking food, washing and ironing clothes. Then if I do move out I will have to stick with this job for a while because I don’t think you get enough money from the government to rent a house without having a job. I hate life so much, I don’t get enjoyment from it, and it feels like a living hell a lot of the time. I was thinking of going to the doc to get some medication for depression to help me cope with work, does anyone have any advice regarding this, what meds do you recommend, what ones to steer clear of. Any advice is much appreciated, feel free to just pm me if you prefer.
The best advice I can give anyone with sp is don’t take on full time work unless your absoluty sure u can handle it, otherwise find some sort of part time work or work with little human contact until you sort it out.
I sit here at home supposed to be enjoying my xmas holiday, but all a sudden things just got 100 times worse. During a xmas visit from family members, I made a comment which offended my mum and later lead to both my parents in concluding that my sp is severe enough that I need to do something about it, and I if don’t then I must move out. I don’t think they are serious on the threat, but my sp wasn’t a real problem to them before and I don’t think dad even knew, but now they both think I’m crackers and it kills me, I feel so ashamed around them now, I think I will just have to move out, I have already been to a psychologist which was a waste of money and I’m not going back again.
I was hoping to use this weeks break to recover from the stress of work, buts that’s all been shattered, and now it looks like I might be looking for a place to live instead. I can’t believe it, one fucking comment and my holiday is ruined, dam my sp brain I just want it to end. To me life is a constant nightmare, I guess this was the straw that broke the camels back, as my sp has lead me to behaviours that were bordering on psychotic before but these incidents were forgotten. I don’t know why things come out of my mouth sometime but they just do, its not me, it’s the sp talking through me. I don’t know if I can cope on my own, I really don’t want to but it’s looking more and more likely. It seems like a daunting task for someone with sp to find a place of their own? With my current job I hardly have enough time as it is, then I would need time for buying food, paying bills, cooking food, washing and ironing clothes. Then if I do move out I will have to stick with this job for a while because I don’t think you get enough money from the government to rent a house without having a job. I hate life so much, I don’t get enjoyment from it, and it feels like a living hell a lot of the time. I was thinking of going to the doc to get some medication for depression to help me cope with work, does anyone have any advice regarding this, what meds do you recommend, what ones to steer clear of. Any advice is much appreciated, feel free to just pm me if you prefer.
