Feeling of loneliness and isolation won't go away

KyleD

New member
hey,

so for about a month and a half i went through a really down phase where i completely cut off contact with virtually everyone i knew and didnt go to the places i normally go to. recently i reintegrated myself and i found out a ton more people cared about me than i actually thought. but i still feel lonely and isolated, even though im surrounded by others.

ive never had a boyfriend. i dont think i ever will. at least one which doesnt abuse me, ive almost had a lot of seedy perverted abusive ones and its because i dont value myself that much and let people walk over me.

dont really expect to get anything out of this. its just really hard waiting for the right people to come along, and it gets really exhausting throwing myself out there time after time and getting rejected again and again. i guess that's what musicians probably struggle with.

its funny how sorted people seem to think i am. they think that because im 20 and i work for the head broadcasting TV network station in New Zealand that i must be miles ahead of everyone. its purely a name, i get paid $17 an hour like everyone else, im doing menial tasks like everyone else, and my colleagues are idiots like everyone else's. plus, i got the job out of my mother, it wasnt something i worked for.

very little people pay attention to the things that i do put an effort into. there are a lot of things in life i dont give myself credit for, im a runway model yet i feel i look strange and unattractive. im getting all As and Bs in my university degree yet i feel like im an idiot and dont understand much about the world, et cetera, but i believe im a creative genius, and i believe that despite my vastly unrealized potential, im still far more developed, refined and skilled at creating art than a large majority of the population, but ironically, that's the one thing people won't give me credit for, the one thing i actually strived, worked for and cared about in my life.

i just don't understand.
 

fate12321

Well-known member
You have the support of people around you. Don't try to push them away. If you do you'll end up alone, and lonleyness would lead to a depression.
I'm also in college as well, and I can relate about not knowing nothing about the world. In college they just teach you pure academics, but not any real word situations in which your decisions affect your future.
You say you have talent, try not to let it go to waste. Prove that you're worthy.
And as for your boyfriend, it's really easy to find someone to love, but it's hard for them to love you back, so keep searching.
 
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