feeling depressed

[rachel]

Hi, i don't know why, but i just feel very emotional, and can't get the thought of me as a failure out of my mind. i am constanly obsessed with my lack of life, my failure to feel normal, to act normal, my loneliness, my revoltingness. i had two big cries in a row, and i haven't cried in a long time. i feel like im getting back to my old self a few years ago when i couldn't even lift my head to face the world. i am getting more and more shaky and nervous in public.
just sitting here, i feel the frustration building inside like a steam engine, and anytime now, i'll blow up into a thousand pieces.
i just feel i can't handle it, i have two midsession exams next week, a possible quizz, and an 'interview' with PWC! but its not just that, everyweek i have more dread to look forward to. the more i exist the more i dread.
i can just imagine me in 10 years, still the same. in 20 years, still the same, in 30 years, probably killed myself. maybe i'll do it on my 21st birthday. not in the party ofcourse, there'll be no party. i'll save both my and others' embarassment of turning up to a no show.
i just feel pinned in that i have nowhere to vent my thoughts. thanks for reading.

 

[blubs]

well at least your happy, thats what counts.

Taws...you are funny..

Hi Rachel...sorry to hear you feel so bad.
Hope you feel better for venting
wish I had some advice for you ...but I don't really
only that life can be shit..and sometimes you can cope better than others...
go easy on yourself

 

[Peel]

Hey rachel

It doesnt last forever you'll turn the corner soon enough, just hang in there

 

[Angie_05]

I know what it's like to be depressed and not have anything to look forward to. We put way too much pressure on ourselves. I often wake up with that feeling of dread also, the feeling that I don't want to face the things I have to face today. They aren't even that bad, but I blow them up into huge things.

The weird thing about the dread is that after the situation is over, everything turned out to be fine. One day I can be depressed and anxious, and the next I can breathe. But then the next day comes and the cycle starts over.

These feelings you're having aren't permanent, and they can be helped. This definitely won't last forever.

 

[mike_sp]

Vent away. better out than in!

if its any consolation, normal ppl can cry during exam times too.

My friend cried like a baby under stress during her uni exam periods and shes really confident and bubbly ordinarally.

Like everyone says, things will change so try not focus on negative thoughts so intensly.

Having sp doesnt make you any less of a person. so your thoughts of being a failure etc is just your sp negativity talking.

damn you sp!

 

[skins]

heya Rach i had a killa 21st, i was by myself ....ohhhhh thats not what every1 else does? pffffft parties are over rated anyways.
anywho when you are feeling really down, even in the lowest of possible lows it helps to think the way you are feeling right now will pass, eventually it will, it always does, i shold know. good day

 

[eviltwin]

ive found the best way to at least forget about it for a while is to go and do something really random that you maybe wouldn't normally do, normally when im sad i take my car out for a long calm drive because it's one of my most prized possesions but when that doesn't work i love going somewhere with a massive view and just sitting there for as long as it takes to unwind and feel ok again. Sometimes i get really down because i feel i have no direction in my life, like, is this all it's ever going to be. It seems so repeditive and boring so processed and factory like, but really if you think about it doing something strange and out of character can be really of benefit, for example if you have a puppy dog go play with him for ages, or give him a bath if you never ever do anything crafty have a draw or build something it's quite amazing how good this can be for you.