Feeding SP/SA

[Hope_so]

Hi all, I'm new here. I found this forum a week ago and I wish to thank you all.
Knowing I'm not alone has been a big relief.

What I'm trying to do is this: I walk the streets and my SP/SA is triggered by
a lot of things, that's ok, I let that be.. what I've changed is that I stopped telling myself
what a loser I am after each episode.
I think that little speech "loser.. you're not normal.. you'll always be like this..
he/she/they think you're pathetic" is what's causing the pain and feeding the SP/SA.
Removing it, people's thoughts or looks are losing their power since I now know
they're not leading to pain anymore.

Maybe you've already tried this.
Seems like it's working for me, and that's strange because nothing ever worked for me.
I hope I'm not fooling myself..
Thanks again

 

[Ddarko]

I have noticed a similar phenomenon. Things bother me, and I feel awkward all the time, but I'm learning more and more to just let it go each time it happens. Something awkward happens and I just make a conscious effort to let it go. Like when I say "hi" to someone and then there might be a strange silence and some awkward gestures and then a "goodbye," I just immediately let the episode go and say "I'm used to it... no big deal... move on." Maybe other people are more put off by it because they're not used to it. Then again, maybe they don't think much of it either. Who cares? Move on I tell myself.... am I weird? You bet I'm weird. Everyone is weird. Weird is normal, normal is weird. Life is strange.

 

[signs05]

Hello

I agree that this is what is feeding the disorder, however I do not think it's that easy to just stop thinking about something that has happened.

Any advice as to how stop oneself from going dwelling on something ?

 

[Erythrocyte]

When I'm about to go into an anxiety attack, I just repeat to my self.. (like a mantra of sort.. :lol "Failure is Ok, I am OK" and "It's human to make mistakes, I am only human". It really helps me, allowing myself to make mistakes, and to realize that no one is perfect. (as a result, I don't make as many mistakes... talk about an ironic twists) :lol:

Something awkward happens and I just make a conscious effort to let it go. Like when I say "hi" to someone and then there might be a strange silence and some awkward gestures and then a "goodbye,"

It helps me to think that the person I'm being awkward with is just as nervous as me, and it is OK to be nervous, I have the right to my own feelings... and then all of a sudden I'm not that nervous anymore..

 

[random]

Hope_so
Thank you for this thread. I think that your diminshed symptoms are proof of your good effort - I believe it's working for you! hooray!
I think you have developed your own approach Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I go to a CBT therapist and she spends alot of time trying to help me introduce new, different, more positive thoughts, and to help me recognize patterns of my thoughts that make me unhappy. If I summed up all the time that I have spent in therapy it would be "our thoughts make us unhappy" and then the therapist uses ways to help us change them (help us recognize things in our past that may have contributed to our thoughts, things in our present that trigger our thoughts, help us release anger we may have associated with the thoughts etc)

Sign05
I used to attend a free anxiety group that meets at my church (the church sponsors it but it's not a religious service and people of different faiths or those who don't practice a faith met there along with a counselor/facilitator). Many of the people there had OCD and those of us with SA or other anxiety issues would sometimes offer our input by saying things that sound more like what you describe 'just try to stop thinking/doing that'. But the more seasoned people among those with OCD would tell us that sometimes CBT approaches don't work because it can actually get you stuck on an idea etc. They would say that distraction often works best for them because if they are telling themselves Not to think something over and over again - they are basically obsessing over it anyway - just with the word 'not' in front of it. They would offer suggestions on how to distract oneself based on the specific OCD behavior. I found distraction helps me with somethings and CBT helps me with others. Writing in a journal also helps. Oh and my spiritual life/ prayer has really gotten me out of the hole I am in many times.
Here's an example of a CBT technique that helps a friend of mine. She said she could not stop having the same fearful thought, over and over again. Her counselor suggested that she focus her attention on the mental image of a stop sign. Whenever she started to have the same fearful thought -she was to train herself to immediately see a 12ft high stop sign in her imagination right in front of her face. Sounds weird but I gratefully tried it and it worked for the situation I was having. I'd imagine the stop sign so abruptly that my years of driving a car kicked in and seemed to kick out the thought for a momment. Then I'd quickly tell myself not to 'go there' and I might have to repeat that process it 3 to 5 times in a row before I could turn my thoughts away.
The stop sign idea wasn't helping my friend with her particular fear - she thought it was too powerful a fear. So - the counselor gave her a thick rubber band to fit loosely around her wrist. Whenever she had the fearful thought, she was to pull and release the rubberband against her wrist (OUCH!). She was to use whatever level of force was just enough to catch her attenion. She laughed as she told me about it but she said after a few days - she noticed she was having the fearful thought less often.
There are alot of things out that that work in some situations for some people regardless of the issue - I am trying to remember them for future use.

 

[moodygoo]

I kinda agree. Its nice thinking of it as a disorder which isn't entirely my fault. But I often feel that I could be pushing myself to talk more and getting to know people around me rather than just giving in and going "its not my fault!" and then sulking.

I think you have developed your own approach Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

yeah that sounds like it. CBT is basically if you're thinking something bad then stop thinking it cos its wrong. This was what my councellor did and I found it a little too basic..

 

[Sacrament]

I was at the store the other day and it was kind of crowded. I didn't run off, but felt anxious and sensed a blush/flush coming on. When I left, instead of beating myself up because of that, I just said "fuck it" aloud and felt better afterwards.

 

[Hope_so]

Hi all
My error in the past was going outside thinking "I'm confident, nothing bad will happen"
and that's just impossible, at the first sign of anxiety that 'little speech' would
kick in, and it would get worse and worse til I'm back in my room, destroyed and hopeless.
Now I say "A lot of things will happen but I'm not gonna torture myself anymore"
and that I can do.
For example the "people approaching me in the street" thing, I still get anxious,
I know it, I'm prepared and I know it will not hurt me. Once they pass me by
they're gone, move on. I mean even if they're thinking the worst about me, I wanna be well.
This probably sounds too easy, but I'm not saying that I don't care if they're looking
and judging or laughing or pointing a gun at me, I'm saying I am no loser.
I got a problem and I wanna watch it die, not gonna feed it.
This "stop torturing yourself" method seems to me like the most natural one.
I'm an atheist, don't care about oriental philosophies, use no medications, no weed,
no booze (anymore for the last one).
This last week I've seen something I had forgot about like hope and optimism.
Instead of being aggressive to hide/counterbalance the fear, or being resigned which is
terrible, I found myself almost relaxed in public, stores, even speaking to people. [EDIT speaking a little..to people]
It's little steps, it'll probably be a long way, but each time I let go an SP/SA
episode instead of beating myself up, it gets easier and I get happier so it gets
easier and I get happier...
This probably still sounds too easy, I guess one must try and see to understand.
My main fear now is that I'm fooling myself and that I'll be back the way I was.