Fear
- Thread starter kihira
- Start date
gummybear22
Well-known member
therapy to figure out the cause of your fear, but i don't know the best approach for you between psychoanalytical or humanistic
kihira
1
Thank you for replying. Yes, I'm seeing someone at the moment and I will discuss it with her at the next visit, I'm curious to know of any techniques people find effective to immediately lessen the fear, stop it feeling so overwhelming :]
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hidwell
Well-known member
I will lay on my bed and listen to soothing and relaxing music like Pure calm, pure easy. Also hypnotising yourself can work for short periods. Is this intense anxiety brought about by the insecurity you have regarding to your job ? There is usually a trigger when anxiety levels rise dramatically, the old saying time is a great healer is very true but unfortunately doesn't help for the present.
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gummybear22
Well-known member
i have some lotion i got some years ago from bath and body works, called Calm, and it smells amAzing! and calming too 
i dunno if they changed their formula though
spirited away has some calming music and it's also a great movie!!
maybe good movies could help you calm down-not thrillers, horror, or anything else that would make your brain stuff go up. i recommend disney movies my fav has always been 101 dalmatians (the cartoon version of course)
i dunno if they changed their formula thoughspirited away has some calming music
and it's also a great movie!!maybe good movies could help you calm down-not thrillers, horror, or anything else that would make your brain stuff go up. i recommend disney movies
my fav has always been 101 dalmatians (the cartoon version of course)
coyote
Well-known member
fear, anxiety, worry are all indicators that there is something we need to pay attention to - something that is potentially dangerous or troublesome.
the best way to counteract the fear is to take action - either confront the danger or flee from it
fleeing often works to relieve the anxiety, so it's no wonder that we often make that our first choice. then, when we see that it works, we use that solution again. and again. and again, until it becomes second nature. we really are creatures of habit.
but all running away does is postpone the inevitable confrontation and actually worsens the fear, because we know it's still out there lurking, waiting for us.
then we start avoiding the fear itself, because, well, it's scary. so rather than admit to ourselves and others that we are afraid, we come up with excuses like "all of human society is hostile and exclusive," "confident people are arrogant, conceited, and small minded," "companies only hire people who are outgoing," "good-looking people are dumb and shallow," "women are all a bunch of whores who only like men who treat them badly," or "people who go to bars are cheap and slutty" - basically the position that anything that we're scared of is beneath us and not worth our time, thereby letting us off the hook.
we can lie to ourselves all we want, but the fear will always remain until we admit to it, accept it in ourselves, and resolve to confront the very thing that makes us afraid.
it's one thing if we're out in the woods being attacked by a sabre-toothed tiger, or our car is stuck at a railroad crossing in the path of an oncoming train. but if we're talking about social anxiety, i think we can safely assume that nothing we fear is so dangerous as to cause us actual physical harm if we were to confront it.
mostly we just need to work on breaking free of those habits we've established for ourselves. the habit of running away and avoiding what we don't want to face and making up excuses for why we don't need to.
this can be extremely difficult and overwhelming. we don't have to tackle it all at once, and we don't have to do it all on our own. sometimes we need help. sometimes it helps to take small steps. any progress forward helps us gain confidence and the fear diminishes bit by bit as we make our way toward the things we fear.
if we keep this up, we'll soon change our habit to one of confronting anxiety-provoking situations rather than avoiding them. facing fear will become second nature.
the world won't change - the things that frighten us will still be there. but how we deal with them will change, and more importantly, the way we see the world and ourselves will change.
ask yourself, "what one thing can i do right now to confront and deal with what it is i am afraid of?" - then DO IT!
it doesn't have to be anything big or monumental - just one little thing
see how that makes you feel - then ask yourself the question again. keep doing that and focus on doing those things, focus on the progress, and not the fear.
one small step at a time, until it becomes your new habit
your life is what you do every day. if you can change your habits, you can change your life.
[Edit: sorry, i know my rant probably didn't answer your question - just some things on my mind.
when the fear gets overwhelming, the thing i try to do is get out of my own head and away from my own thoughts that i have fallen victim to: like meditation, focusing on breathing, or focusing on being in the present moment or doing something outside of myself - if this can be some sort of positive action toward confronting the issue that is causing the anxiety, all the better.]
the best way to counteract the fear is to take action - either confront the danger or flee from it
fleeing often works to relieve the anxiety, so it's no wonder that we often make that our first choice. then, when we see that it works, we use that solution again. and again. and again, until it becomes second nature. we really are creatures of habit.
but all running away does is postpone the inevitable confrontation and actually worsens the fear, because we know it's still out there lurking, waiting for us.
then we start avoiding the fear itself, because, well, it's scary. so rather than admit to ourselves and others that we are afraid, we come up with excuses like "all of human society is hostile and exclusive," "confident people are arrogant, conceited, and small minded," "companies only hire people who are outgoing," "good-looking people are dumb and shallow," "women are all a bunch of whores who only like men who treat them badly," or "people who go to bars are cheap and slutty" - basically the position that anything that we're scared of is beneath us and not worth our time, thereby letting us off the hook.
we can lie to ourselves all we want, but the fear will always remain until we admit to it, accept it in ourselves, and resolve to confront the very thing that makes us afraid.
it's one thing if we're out in the woods being attacked by a sabre-toothed tiger, or our car is stuck at a railroad crossing in the path of an oncoming train. but if we're talking about social anxiety, i think we can safely assume that nothing we fear is so dangerous as to cause us actual physical harm if we were to confront it.
mostly we just need to work on breaking free of those habits we've established for ourselves. the habit of running away and avoiding what we don't want to face and making up excuses for why we don't need to.
this can be extremely difficult and overwhelming. we don't have to tackle it all at once, and we don't have to do it all on our own. sometimes we need help. sometimes it helps to take small steps. any progress forward helps us gain confidence and the fear diminishes bit by bit as we make our way toward the things we fear.
if we keep this up, we'll soon change our habit to one of confronting anxiety-provoking situations rather than avoiding them. facing fear will become second nature.
the world won't change - the things that frighten us will still be there. but how we deal with them will change, and more importantly, the way we see the world and ourselves will change.
ask yourself, "what one thing can i do right now to confront and deal with what it is i am afraid of?" - then DO IT!
it doesn't have to be anything big or monumental - just one little thing
see how that makes you feel - then ask yourself the question again. keep doing that and focus on doing those things, focus on the progress, and not the fear.
one small step at a time, until it becomes your new habit
your life is what you do every day. if you can change your habits, you can change your life.
[Edit: sorry, i know my rant probably didn't answer your question - just some things on my mind.
when the fear gets overwhelming, the thing i try to do is get out of my own head and away from my own thoughts that i have fallen victim to: like meditation, focusing on breathing, or focusing on being in the present moment or doing something outside of myself - if this can be some sort of positive action toward confronting the issue that is causing the anxiety, all the better.]
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mikebird
Banned
All your comments are very valuable and straight to the point.
I think paranoia is equivalent to the thread, but nothing negative for me - it sparks thought for me. It's all a prominent part of me.
Any day leads to peaks and troughs. Persistent job apps can result in a week of zero response by call or otherwise. It feels cold. Either day will be quiet with no desire to listen to music; occasionally I get bored of it. I often switxh off and fall into bed to relax. After a few minutes I get bored of that and resume doing something else. Generally in a reasonable mood, all by myself.
I think paranoia is equivalent to the thread, but nothing negative for me - it sparks thought for me. It's all a prominent part of me.
Any day leads to peaks and troughs. Persistent job apps can result in a week of zero response by call or otherwise. It feels cold. Either day will be quiet with no desire to listen to music; occasionally I get bored of it. I often switxh off and fall into bed to relax. After a few minutes I get bored of that and resume doing something else. Generally in a reasonable mood, all by myself.