fear is very uncomfortable!!

[marta]

hi all, i m just wondering if what i feel is social phobia? because i dont experience any fear or panic attacks daily, i m comfortable with people or without ( without slightly better) and i m not shy...or not typicaly shy. but public speaking is something i literaly cant go through. probably u cant help me and i cant help it myself. i was just thinking if i try to fight it..lets say..i could start give some presentations ..will that help? is that a good solution to fight that problem??? in 2 months time i have to give a lecture and the day i got to know about it i started to feel this fear. now everyday i m so stressed. i got headaches, can feel my heart beat...u know symptoms i just worry that i go there and my voice will shake as well as my hands...and i m sure i ll keep forgeting my topic...in other hand its not the end of the world...i ve seen so many terrible lectures done by people with no socal fears but its just annoyes me how i am, and i dont like that. i dont know how to change it and is it really possible to become fearless?

marta

 

[Jack-B]

Find a fearless place in your mind. A place of fearlessness abides within us all. When all the things we think matter to us dont really matter at all, like presentations. What really matters?

What's more important than fear? What matters more than being afraid?

It's easy to forget what really matters in life and let our fear paralyse us into a way of not really living. When you realise fear arises and dissapears, just as your life slowly disappears, you will let your fear die and cease to hold onto it. And in doing so you wont grasp at things, you will flow.

The stress and anxiety is growing bigger because the situation that is generating your fear is growing ever closer.

You do not have a social phobia, you are experiencing common anxiety induced by a situation which generates fear in you.

Start becoming familiar with being anxious under pressure this will help in becoming comfortable. Try also to accept it and dont be too hard on your self, everyone gets nervous and anxious.

Good luck!

Jack

 

[marta]

thanks Jack, in a way u u are right, we shouldnt let fear dominate our lifes but eventhough i know that there are more important things in life then fear, and [ speaking about presentations] i dont really care what they think of me..i still feel that stress and fear...and it seems like i wont be able to say first sentence. after that i will probably become pink/red on all face....[ obviously i will feel it] but still i know that i wont care what people think about me at that point. its so hopless...

i went to oxford for a training recently and i met a girl, she was very frendly..talkative person. it was 2 day course so i had to stay over night. she asked me if i fancy to go to pub with her...i had to lie that ive had other plans, and then next day i dont know why i asked her if she wants a lift to london, that was a last thing i wanted to spend 2 hours in a car with her ..speaking about what? i m ok with "hi hello how are u" but then feel like : " leave me alone" . i managed somehow but the point is i feel much better with only myself...and i dont complain..i feel good with myself. its probably not best attitude for someone who wants to do a career as more talkative and less clever people somehow are valued more...

marta