My definition
False Familiarity is thinking I am familiar with a stranger just because I have observed that person in my vicinity for a few minutes. I also assume that person is familiar with me. I wrote down a definition a few weeks ago:
"False familiarity happens due to movies and trying to understand what I can't. False familiarity of someone extends to familiarity of that one to myself, which causes anxiety."
Movies have trained us to think we know a character just because we've seen a bit of their life on-screen and our predictions of their fate came true. We feel a personal connection although we have ~0 familiarity with them.
Background Questions
Have you ever gotten to know strangers well and realize they were nothing like when you first met them? Does it make sense that being in a bus of 30 people makes them more familiar with you than only 1 person being on the bus with you? Do you feel more comfortable smiling at an unattractive person than an attractive person and realize that neither knows what you really think? Have you visited a foreign culture and felt more comfortable because you think they can't finely interpret your gestures to get a true sense of who you are? Have you felt at ease acting?
Result
I can't know who a person likes or what (s)he thinks and for me to speculate that (s)he does, I eventually assume AND stick to the worst scenario and that is that (s)he is familiar with me even though I'm sure I'm not familiar with that person!
Assume A
If A then B
Eventually discover not A
But still assuming B!
Result: Certainly not A, but anxious of possibility B!
Conclusion
The last few weeks in public situations I murmur to myself "false familiarity" and realize they can't know anything about me. As my body adapts to this comfort level and experiences no danger, I start to feel less inclined to go back into a state of tenseness. My face has felt normal in public for the first time in a decade.
What's next:
Repeating my new-found phrase only got me so far. I am in the process of stage 2:
I am now comfortable being an unfamiliar low-profile stick-figure in a public situation. However I need to be able to freely animate my body to truly feel comfortable. Animation may reveal more about me only if I choose to believe it does. I must be careful since many animations can result in higher-profile situations which can be misinterpreted, such as smiling to all the strangers on the bus. However, I did this two years ago and I did not offend anyone AFAIK-- which is all I should care about in a modern society. I must convince myself that a higher-profile move such as smiling does not make people more familiar with me.
False Familiarity is thinking I am familiar with a stranger just because I have observed that person in my vicinity for a few minutes. I also assume that person is familiar with me. I wrote down a definition a few weeks ago:
"False familiarity happens due to movies and trying to understand what I can't. False familiarity of someone extends to familiarity of that one to myself, which causes anxiety."
Movies have trained us to think we know a character just because we've seen a bit of their life on-screen and our predictions of their fate came true. We feel a personal connection although we have ~0 familiarity with them.
Background Questions
Have you ever gotten to know strangers well and realize they were nothing like when you first met them? Does it make sense that being in a bus of 30 people makes them more familiar with you than only 1 person being on the bus with you? Do you feel more comfortable smiling at an unattractive person than an attractive person and realize that neither knows what you really think? Have you visited a foreign culture and felt more comfortable because you think they can't finely interpret your gestures to get a true sense of who you are? Have you felt at ease acting?
Result
I can't know who a person likes or what (s)he thinks and for me to speculate that (s)he does, I eventually assume AND stick to the worst scenario and that is that (s)he is familiar with me even though I'm sure I'm not familiar with that person!
Assume A
If A then B
Eventually discover not A
But still assuming B!
Result: Certainly not A, but anxious of possibility B!
Conclusion
The last few weeks in public situations I murmur to myself "false familiarity" and realize they can't know anything about me. As my body adapts to this comfort level and experiences no danger, I start to feel less inclined to go back into a state of tenseness. My face has felt normal in public for the first time in a decade.
What's next:
Repeating my new-found phrase only got me so far. I am in the process of stage 2:
I am now comfortable being an unfamiliar low-profile stick-figure in a public situation. However I need to be able to freely animate my body to truly feel comfortable. Animation may reveal more about me only if I choose to believe it does. I must be careful since many animations can result in higher-profile situations which can be misinterpreted, such as smiling to all the strangers on the bus. However, I did this two years ago and I did not offend anyone AFAIK-- which is all I should care about in a modern society. I must convince myself that a higher-profile move such as smiling does not make people more familiar with me.