jackolantern
New member
Well i tried...and again have failed. I finally said..f**K SA. So i packed up my shit, moved to a new city, started college again and the world seemed brighter. It was hard to adjust at first lliving with roomates and going to a new school but i quickly embraced what i thought were better days. And for the first 6 months I felt free. I was quickly becoming social..i had places to go and things to do with people and I loved it. But i could always feel a gnawing fear deep inside in certain situations although i tried to muster the strength to ignore it. So what happened? I was deceived. After 6 months the SA came back, maybe brought on by the late night party drinking binges that are prevalent in a college town or maybe the realization that the fear hidden within was still there, who knows? I began to become more and more introverted, returning to my old safe self. I was fading. I would make myself unavailable, fear was too strong. So here I am back where I started, just in a different town...except now I am lonelier than I ever was. Besides SA, I have started feeling what i can only describe as despair. Alone in the daytime, alone at night, alone on the weekends, alone. So thats my story and now Im lost. for good i think. Sometimes I wonder whats the point of anything anymore.....
anyway not like anyone gives a crap, but just felt i needed to share my experience and since i have no one else to talk to...well ill pretend u read this.
anyway not like anyone gives a crap, but just felt i needed to share my experience and since i have no one else to talk to...well ill pretend u read this.
