eye contact

[KGC]

I have become very self concious about my eye contact with others. I find myself concentrating way too much on it when I am talking with others. This has made it very hard for me to establish eye contact for a normal period of time. It also makes this conversations with me very uncomfortable for me and others. I have tried to work through this and it is better sometimes, but always gets bad again. I am toatally different person when I can get past this, but it is hard and very frustrating. I have been looking into hynotherapy to hopefully fix the issue. Do you think this could work? Has anyone ever tried hypnotherapy?

 

[delacratic]

This has made it very hard for me to establish eye contact for a normal period of time

Yeah, and then you can't even work out what a "normal period of time" is, right? And you're aware that the whole thing is not 'normal' because you're analyzing it so much?
I've had this before, and its so similar to the rest of my SA, just another vicious circle which you know will only get worse the more aware of it you are.

I dunno about hypnotherapy, but my advise would be to just accept it. The more I think to myself "this is how I am, thats all there is to it", the less I think about it, and the better it gets, as I'm not thinking about it before I even open my mouth or look at someone. I think it is possible to get past it by just 'letting go'. If you find it hard to look people in the eye, just accept that, for now, you find it hard, but you'll not beat yourself up for it. I think you'll find that as you pay less attention it becomes less of a problem, you worry less, so you pay even less attention, and you can start a 'positive cycle'.

Good luck.

 

[**removed**]

Yes I find i'm concentrating on eye contact during conversations, but with people I don't know too well. With people I know well it's not such a problem.

 

[JamesMorgan]

What happens to your mind in these situations?

It becomes tense, uncomfortable, what is it you are focusing upon?

Are you wanting to be seen as someone who makes eye contact so that people witll think you are listening, or perhaps be seen as confident and not shy?

What matters is what is going on in your mind, causing you to become uncomfortable. Maybe you are trying too hard at something, pushing, becoming unnatural. Eye contact is not really the problem, it would seem so, but whats the underlying concern making it a big deal?

You are looking for a connection with the other person, or group of people, a peaceful space where you can communicate effectively. This connection takes place in the heart.

James