Eye contact

[ryan]

Hello. I have always had a problem keeping eye contact with people. It's pretty much impossible for me to do. I've figured out it's because of all the anxiety/nervousness when it happens. When I make eye contact the anxiety/nervousness overloads my sensory system making me not able to think/listen at the same time as looking at their eyes, thus i have to look away so i can do so. Is anyone else like this and completely unable to keep eye contact and think/listen at the same time also?

 

[sugaryberries]

If someone is talking to me I don't have a problem making eye contact then. If I am walking out in public I try really hard not to make eye contact with anyone. It makes me so nervous.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i used to be that way. eventually i had to force myself to look them in the eye, because i've heard it's good for job interviews and such.

then i would always get nervous in thinking that i was staring too long and would look away and then i'd think i was switching back and forth too much, oh god what if they can tell what i'm thinking? do they notice? what are they talking about?.... blah blah blah

that's what goes on in my head so soon i have to think about what they just said haha and if they ask me a question and i can't answer, argh! more embarassment

oi what a cycle!

 

[allanboy]

Worst time for an eye contact is when you are yelling at someone, or complaning about something they´ve done. I say something and bang my vision goes to the side, and focus again and tum there it goes. Frustating.

 

[Boundless]

I dislike eye contact,when im talking to people i usualy look to the ground,occasionaly i look into there eyes but cant maintain the contact for to long

 

[geyser]

I can't keep eye contact with people, it makes me so nervous.
I usually try and focus on the bridge of a person's nose. I've been told it appears you're looking them in the eye. Of course I suspect they're probaply thinking..."What is this guy doing staring at my nose?"

 

[justsomebloke25]

I can't keep eye contact with people, it makes me so nervous.
I usually try and focus on the bridge of a person's nose. I've been told it appears you're looking them in the eye. Of course I suspect they're probaply thinking..."What is this guy doing staring at my nose?"

Yeah, I've tried look at their nose before and had the same worry! :lol: The other problem I have with looking people in the eye, is which eye to look at? So then I try to switch from eye to eye, but that's a lot of work and I imagine it looks very odd to the other person :lol:

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

If someone is talking to me I don't have a problem making eye contact then. If I am walking out in public I try really hard not to make eye contact with anyone. It makes me so nervous.

Same for me...I'm fine with the eye contact if I'm talking to somebody or they're talking to me...actually I've noticed I'm better at making eye contact than most people I talk to... but if I'm just walking around or around people I'm not talking to/people I don't know, I can't really even look at them...I usually just look at the floor or look past the people.

 

[lostboi]

I can't do eye contact hardly at all. Especially with girls. If a girl looks at me I usually turn my head or look down at my feet. I'm trying really hard to get over that but it's hard. even people I know really well it's hard for me to look them in the eyes. It's weird. It's almost like some instinctual thing to turn away.

Hmm. maybe it is instinctual..
I know in the wild if animals hold eye contact it means
A. they are going to fight
B. they are going to get down

hmm just a thought..I know I'm weird, so no now you can all tell me how strange I am. I'm used to it..

 

[Ayla]

I can't make eye contact, especially when someone is talking to me. I think those around me must get the impression that I really love shoes, because that's where I'm often looking.

 

[Horatio]

I can't do eye contact hardly at all. Especially with girls. If a girl looks at me I usually turn my head or look down at my feet. I'm trying really hard to get over that but it's hard. even people I know really well it's hard for me to look them in the eyes. It's weird. It's almost like some instinctual thing to turn away.

I know what you mean there buddy... when I look at a girl I can't make eye contact so instinctively look down, then I worry that she might think I'm looking at her bust so I either look at my own feet, the sky or look sideways which obviously makes it look like Im disinterested in her

probably its a self defense mechanism to avoid getting rejected yet again

sometimes it feels like Im a big evil dragon and every female I look at is St George

 

[renegade]

I can't make eye contact, especially when someone is talking to me. I think those around me must get the impression that I really love shoes, because that's where I'm often looking.

Yeah, I love shoes too, and i really love the walls behind the person I'm making a conversation with :lol:

Although lately i've been forcing myself to look at people's eyes i still have difficulties. For instance, I can't look my father in the eye for more than one second. I can look in my mother eyes for about 5 or 6 :?

With girls it's different, like Horatio said. If I don't say anything to a girl, it feels very weird to look in her eyes because the thoughts that start running through your head like: she must think i'm a freak for staring at her, or she must think i like her so if i don't make a move she'll consider me a loser, or what does this idiot want from me, why don't he come and tell me what's wrong? ....and so on

This topic reminds me of a game my coleagues used to play in high school. You were supposed to look the other in the eye without blinking. Who blinked first lost the game. I never played cause I wouldn't blink , I guess I would have fainted or lost my conscience.

Anyone here wanna play this game ? :lol:

 

[arrina]

making eye contact is difficult for some people i think because of the fact people can almost read your thought feelings through eye contact like having your mind read. Which is something i fear a lot for some reason!

For animals and us too its a domination thing if you look away first it tends means the other person animal is more dominant.

 

[4myself]

Eye contact is a problem for me to, I look people in the face but not the eyes.

 

[Anxiolyte]

I'll do y`all one better. I can't look people in the eyes, unless I'm really pissed off or I'm about ready to thrown down, in which case I blaze a hole right through their eyes and into their head. But if I do by accidently catch a random someone eye to eye, I freak out and get really angry for no reason. I guess I have a "fight or fight" mechanism... and no, that's not a typo. But I know this, so I usually let the few people I talk to know about my problem up front (probably the one and only time I will ever look them in the eye). I guess that simultaneously explains my ability to tap into a freakish amount of strength when I have a training partner at the gym (try not making eye contact with your spotter / person you're spotting sometime, it can't be done!) and the reason why I don't have a lot of friends (well, that and my plethora of other social phobias). I guess all I am really wonderiing after all this blah blah blah is whether or not this "anger" response is common or if I just have some sort of really messed up issue here.

 

[refined_rascal]

I flit between one eye and the other when talking to people. Constant eye contact is not good anyway. I don't think anyone gives non-stop eye contact when they're talking to someone. It would be very unnerving.

If any one has the fear that lack of eye contact can be detrimental to ones success, just take a look at Richard Branson. I've seen him in lots of interviews, and he looks everywhere except in the eyes of the person who's interviewing him.

 

[the_recluse]

Im bad at eye contact, i think its also because i dont like to acknowledge people looking at me, it makes me uneasy.

 

[Septor]

Strangely thats the one thing i'm not bad at.I make good eye contact with everyone.So strange.

 

[tewstroke]

yeah im bad at eye contact as well 8O just kidding, but for some reason whenever im just looking around and my eyes catch someone looking at me i get really nervous and try to avoid their eyes same thing happens when i see people walking towards me i try to stare at other things. the worst though is when their are approaching from a long distance its like hurry up and pass im running out of things to stare at

 

[Nytro]

way too true tewstroke, im the same

If I lean forward, and some instructor gives me eye contact for too long where he/she is focused on me out of the other students, my eyes shift away, or I clear my throut and look away. Its pretty automatic. If Im aware
at the moment and force myself to give the back normal eye contact my head will shake until my eyes look away.

Is anyone esle like this? And if you are in auditorium or class room, do you guys usually sit way in the back?