Eye contact

LeapFrog

Well-known member
I have this really weird issue with eye-contact. It is actually physically irritating (or so it seems) to maintain eye contact with someone for a long duration. If I do, my eyes start to burn (I do blink, of course). Maybe it's just because I am an audio-learner, or paranoid about what they may think I look like, or both. Bah... Anyone else have this problem?
 

Boundless

Well-known member
I cant maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds,even if i know the person well,it gets better as your confidence increases (so im told).
 

lawyerguy

Well-known member
I'm really bad with eye contact as well. I try to make eye contact with people I'm talking with but I always get so nervous I can't help but look away.
 

strawberry

New member
people tell me I blink a lot. does that have anything to do with hating maintaining eye contact? I try to do it but always quickly look away again.
 

black_mamba

Well-known member
LeapFrog said:
I have this really weird issue with eye-contact. It is actually physically irritating (or so it seems) to maintain eye contact with someone for a long duration. If I do, my eyes start to burn (I do blink, of course).

Ja ja ja I get this too. The only people I can maintain eye contact with I have known for over 10 years at least! Yet with new people I physically get irritated if I stare into their eyes for too long.

I can look into someone's eyes for about 2 seconds then absolutely must look away. I worry that constant eye-contact will look like obsessive staring, which it isn't - I'm sure its good socially, but I know a few people who make little eye contact (like me) and still make effective points by talking quite slowly and purposefully.

So it's not the be all and end all, but it can be useful in staring competitions. Check me out --> 8O
 

young

Well-known member
I've been told. when uncomfortable making eye contact with someone. Look at the bridge of their nose. They won't notice the difference.
 

LeapFrog

Well-known member
young said:
I've been told. when uncomfortable making eye contact with someone. Look at the bridge of their nose. They won't notice the difference.

Oh that's a cool tip. :)
 

young

Well-known member
And if your giving say a speach, or you're talking in front of a group of people. Look at the tops of their heads. That also gives the illusion of making eye contact. As rough as it is to do. I don't like it myself, any more than I have to. It needs to be done to make your speaches more powerfull. And it helps to get your point across. For your eyes are great conveyors of emotion.
 

coolguy2005

Well-known member
Young.

That's a very good tip. I remember hearing it from my highschool teachers. I've never put it into practice, but I will start doing so.

young said:
I've been told. when uncomfortable making eye contact with someone. Look at the bridge of their nose. They won't notice the difference.
 

jss

Well-known member
few years ago I didn't ever have this eye contact problem even with stranger but now I cann't have eye contact even with my friends in college

if I did look in some one eyes for just few second I will forget what I was saying :D and blush and all sp symptoms start

for now I look at the ground or the roof for some moments then I look at their eyes again or some times I do like you said I look at their nose

young said:
I've been told. when uncomfortable making eye contact with someone. Look at the bridge of their nose. They won't notice the difference.
 

G22

Member
This is definitely a problem that I've also had for nearly all my life. A part of it is due to natural shyness, a bit of anxiety, and whatever else. Lately though, I've been doing much better in keeping eye contact with people. It's always weird because you can never tell what is too little or too much when it comes to that... too little eye contact and people wonder about you... too much eye contact and people become creeped out lol

I guess there's no easy answer to it, but my thing is that I'll try to keep direct eye contact when I'm saying something important or interesting, then wander my eye away from direct contact when I'm sort of thinking about things during the conversation. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but it sort of works for now. :wink:
 

bluenow

Well-known member
It is so hard to look another person in the eye. It's a feeling like the other person is looking inside of me or inside of my thoughts. Now I know they can't and aren't , it just feels that way. It is so embarassing to maintain the look :oops:
 
I've been doing pretty good lately with eye contact actually, I guess I just praticed alot and learned how to forget thinking about it, and I've never had anybody act like I was being too starey or anything. Eye contact is instinctual, but only if your not having ANY manual control over it, once you even think about it you'd better forget the notion quickly or you'll have symptoms. Maybe I'm getting a bit better in general, I used to not be able to just forget all the self-conscious-isms, but now more and more I feel like I'm acting naturally. Don't lose the faith folks, things CAN get better.
 
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