Everything Amplified

[rado31]

I dont know how about you , but i m like that. Doctors would probably call it "full blow anxiety" and perhaps even something worse-i m happy that these days i m not hearing their opinion.

So, everything is abnormally amplified : -emotions , -instictsts , - dreams, -beliefs ,i was always like that, there are maybe a periods where i would be relatively calm without any reason.

I think it is the reason why i dont have social skills. Are you like that too?
I seem not to understand what people want, like i m totally different from the day i was born . Plus i m higly imaginative + higly physically sensitive (That doesnt go well with my physicall appearence since i m very corpulent)
I hope i wont be suggestable no more to wrong minded people while in this awful state of mind.

My dreams was always weird & intensified. Most people think that i use some drug (trips , they say ...). That is hurting me. I wasnt initially judgmental on anybody, now is the time when i m pretty quick on conclusions.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Barnum]

Seems like you're just comparing yourself to the rest of the world: boring, simple-minded people who think... Well, that's just the thing. They don't think.

Maybe you just need some new, open-minded friends. I sure wouldn't mind having someone as sensitive/lively/ambitious as you in my social network.

 

[rado31]

hey, thanks Barnum. My only ambition nowadays is to find a peace of mind.

It's been a few days since i have discovered some wicked things -

My sp turned up to be a result of something really wierd..

when i gather all data , i will tell you.. i hope so..

right now i m yet not sure how to behave or what should i do..

it is pretty much silly that i cannot open myself about this even on a relatively safe place like this (Well, about this ridicilous thing that is causing me problems almost the day i knew for my existance)

 

[Doomed2Die]

Anxiety would do this, it keeps the brain awake and in reality causes alot of sufferers to be on edge almost to the point it hurts. Hence depersonalization and the dreams. It does premote open thinking and probally can be a cause for such.

Damn you would not believe some things I did a few years back... night terrors, sleep-berserk running madness. Not good.

And yeah lol! As I say who needs drugs when we have our brain!
(augh why does that sound so lame to me?)

 

[HexNoir]

How much caffeine and sugar do you consume?

Recently I've discovered I have a sensitivity to caffeine - even in fairly small amounts. Even just a cup sends me over the edge. I couldn't tell you why, but I do know that days without caffeine at all are glorious! Sure I'm a little tired, but I can manage shit better... especially with my newfound awesome attitude toward shit.

 

[rado31]

I consume only a small amount of caffeine.
But sugar- i m giant sugar consumer , i extincted all chocolate in this part of europe

 

[Barnum]

hey, thanks Barnum. My only ambition nowadays is to find a peace of mind.

It's been a few days since i have discovered some wicked things -

My sp turned up to be a result of something really wierd..

when i gather all data , i will tell you.. i hope so..

Sounds really interesting. It would probably do you a world of good to share your experiences with others.

 

[rado31]

I dont know if it would do me good. More i m thinking now about it (more i suffer) -->but look at me what i m doing , i m posting this here? what in the uhhm i m doing?

It is crazy shit. I have discovered some voodoo ritual lead by some very close members of my family . But rituals exists as long as someone is willing to believe in it. Right now i m not believeing in anything particular (I beleve in God-something that created world and that is it. Everybody is allowed to have theories about it). And i dont want to believe that i can be hurt more by those crazy persons that already killed their closest ones (I m not kidding, when i mentioned that i have some court trials i meant that i a m able to put in jail a cousin of mine (one of few safe persons that i had) who poisoned my grandpa last year "enchanted" by the leading persons of this cult ). Motive of this murder are obviously of materialistic kind. But i dunno? It makes me nuts.

You can believe me or not.

If you dont have something constructive to post here (And possibly not of a religious kind), please dont do it

I m such a loser people

 

[Doomed2Die]

It is crazy shit. I have discovered some voodoo ritual lead by some very close members of my family . But rituals exists as long as someone is willing to believe in it. Right now i m not believeing in anything particular (I beleve in God-something that created world and that is it. Everybody is allowed to have theories about it). And i dont want to believe that i can be hurt more by those crazy persons that already killed their closest ones (I m not kidding, when i mentioned that i have some court trials i meant that i a m able to put in jail a cousin of mine (one of few safe persons that i had) who poisoned my grandpa last year "enchanted" by the leading persons of this cult ). Motive of this murder are obviously of materialistic kind. But i dunno? It makes me nuts.

Anything like divining/rituals/ect. tend to be bad, indeed, the more you look into it and dwell apon it the more real they can become. The best thing anyone can do with them is simply get away and/or stop doing stuff like that, heh its not a matter of if its real or not but rather how much one is into it, the outcome is always bad or worse.

This advice is not really religious, more like factual.

 

[rado31]

First , thank you for reply.

I m trying to distance myself as much as possible, and hopefully i will succeed. That persons are messed up, i only feel sorry about my cousin, i was really good with him before (I m sorry for him, i couldnt do anything). I even dont know where is here right now. But when i saw him last time it was the most frigtining face i saw in this city. So i told my parents to keep away from him

EDIT : I still think of this sick cult . I hope i m not infected with some bugs, because i have heard that such thinks are involved in rituals.
And objective of those rituals is pretty much morbid