nope1
Well-known member
I can't sleep because I'm thinking about a lot of stuff these days.
I'm 22. I mean, come on. I have to start my life somewhere. I was always telling myself that no, I'm too old, can't start now because it's too late... if I finish my courses, I'll enter university at a later age...
The thing is... the more I say that, the more I stay the same.
Come on! I'm a human like anybody else! If I don't take care of me then who will?!?!?! All these negative reactions toward me are because I DON'T LIKE MYSELF!
People are mirrors, they reflect what you're sending! If you like yourself, then people will not treat you like crap. Even if they are, I have to defend myself and not let them take my dignity!
And I have to fix my social Phobia so that it may be a social whocare. Yes, social phobia is a problem and I have to acknowledge it so that I can be better. But Acknowledging my problem is only the first step. The second one is to actually FIX my social phobia.
I have to consider myself as a normal human being. If I always say that I have a disability and depend on other people for my own need then... I'm a prisoner. I have given up my freedom.
Even the disabled in wheelchairs doesn't like to call themselves disabled. Why? Because being called a disabled means you can't live normally because of a problem. But even tho they can't walk, they succeed! They even play basket-ball!!!
Why wouldn't I be able to do that! Love yourself nope1!! You're a human being like anybody else.
So now, I have to work so that I fix this "Social Phobia". The keyword is phobia. I have to FACE my fears.
How? by getting a job that will FORCE me into a CORNER talking to customers so that I force my REAL me to COME OUT.
The real me is hidden somewhere and I have to force him out by force! And Life is hard, not easy. Only by succeeding in hardship that I will be able to move forward.
There no shortcuts, no easy way out.
I have to think this as a game. Yes, a game.
In a video game, there are various puzzles to solve. And the more you solve, the more it becomes interesting, the more you become proficient which means your self-confidence will jump!
I think social phobia is like VARIOUS plastic bags around you limiting you to reveal yourself and to see the world. And I have to destroy those bags. Only by doing so that I can truly succeed in life.
That's why I'm saying that I have to force myself into a corner.
Because I know that I'll always find the EASY way out and by doing that, I'll just get into this vicious cycle: afraid of talking to people, low self-esteem, don't want to reveal himself, don't want to talk to people...
Sorry if this seemed long but I had to get this out from my chest because I couldn't sleep.
I just hope that I can succeed in my plans. I truly had enough! trust me! I'm suffering like hell and I ABSOLUTELY know how you feel. It's hell
And my message to this whole community. PLEASE don't give up. We have to think ourselves as people. And I SERIOUSLY hope that EACH AND EVERYONE here will be able to succeed no matter what!
I'm 22. I mean, come on. I have to start my life somewhere. I was always telling myself that no, I'm too old, can't start now because it's too late... if I finish my courses, I'll enter university at a later age...
The thing is... the more I say that, the more I stay the same.
Come on! I'm a human like anybody else! If I don't take care of me then who will?!?!?! All these negative reactions toward me are because I DON'T LIKE MYSELF!
People are mirrors, they reflect what you're sending! If you like yourself, then people will not treat you like crap. Even if they are, I have to defend myself and not let them take my dignity!
And I have to fix my social Phobia so that it may be a social whocare. Yes, social phobia is a problem and I have to acknowledge it so that I can be better. But Acknowledging my problem is only the first step. The second one is to actually FIX my social phobia.
I have to consider myself as a normal human being. If I always say that I have a disability and depend on other people for my own need then... I'm a prisoner. I have given up my freedom.
Even the disabled in wheelchairs doesn't like to call themselves disabled. Why? Because being called a disabled means you can't live normally because of a problem. But even tho they can't walk, they succeed! They even play basket-ball!!!
Why wouldn't I be able to do that! Love yourself nope1!! You're a human being like anybody else.
So now, I have to work so that I fix this "Social Phobia". The keyword is phobia. I have to FACE my fears.
How? by getting a job that will FORCE me into a CORNER talking to customers so that I force my REAL me to COME OUT.
The real me is hidden somewhere and I have to force him out by force! And Life is hard, not easy. Only by succeeding in hardship that I will be able to move forward.
There no shortcuts, no easy way out.
I have to think this as a game. Yes, a game.
In a video game, there are various puzzles to solve. And the more you solve, the more it becomes interesting, the more you become proficient which means your self-confidence will jump!
I think social phobia is like VARIOUS plastic bags around you limiting you to reveal yourself and to see the world. And I have to destroy those bags. Only by doing so that I can truly succeed in life.
That's why I'm saying that I have to force myself into a corner.
Because I know that I'll always find the EASY way out and by doing that, I'll just get into this vicious cycle: afraid of talking to people, low self-esteem, don't want to reveal himself, don't want to talk to people...
Sorry if this seemed long but I had to get this out from my chest because I couldn't sleep.
I just hope that I can succeed in my plans. I truly had enough! trust me! I'm suffering like hell and I ABSOLUTELY know how you feel. It's hell
And my message to this whole community. PLEASE don't give up. We have to think ourselves as people. And I SERIOUSLY hope that EACH AND EVERYONE here will be able to succeed no matter what!
