Driving and shopping

[CheshireCat]

Hi, my name is Heather...19 year old female suffering from SA. I just came back from a drive, one of my biggest fears and I just wanted to see if any one else gets self conscious with driving as well. I've only been driving for about 7 months, one being that I need more experience but another is that I have a fear that others are watching me and making comments about the way I drive as weird as that may sound. Sometimes I park far away when I go to the store because I'm afraid that I won't park right and even if I do I have the fear that others are watching me. Going into the store as well is something I fear as well even if I'm with someone. I hate pushing the shopping carriage, and I hate making eye contact with others. It's hard to even think what I need to get half the time. Eeeek and then at the resgister! What is he/she thinking, do i have chapped lips? I give a little giggle if they try to start a conversation. Hmm how much did you say? I used to have a severe facial blushing problem, but I got ETS last year to eliminate it which is been great, no blushing...but the SA is still with me. These are just a few things that are bothering me now...many more, but I just wanted to see if anyone has similar experiences to this as well. I'll post more

 

[Moonie]

I used to hate driving. I had my permit for about a year or more before I got my license. I failed my driver's test twice before I got my license. Even when I did get my license, I only drove once a month - and not very far! However, I've had my license for four years and I am now starting to drive a lot and on more.. busier roads. I have become quite comfortable with it. The more you do it, the more you do become comfortable. I sometimes worry about what others are saying in the cars behind me, but you got to learn to just focus on what is ahead of you- and not behind you. That was the only good lesson I learned from my X BF! Pushing a cart ina store is similar in a way to driving- so I can see how it might make you a little nervous!

 

[Moonie]

PS -- I like your screen name

 

[CheshireCat]

Hi there. Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry that you failed your driving test twice before getting your permit...at least you got it though right :wink: Yeah while having my permit I went to drivers ed...that was scary. While driving, another person taking lessons had to observe me driving along with the driving instructor. I was very self conscious and I was afraid what the other person was thinking. I was close to leaving and forget driving all together but I stuck with it. The driving instructor also tried starting conversations..."Hey did you see that movie Top Gun?"...um yeah :blush: it was good. Driving and conversation can it get any worse?? Anyway, thanks about the tips with driving, I'll keep those in mind. Yeah pushing the cart definitely goes along with driving. SA kind of shifts my mind to thinking people are against whatever it is I'm doing...once I feel that, I think I'm doing something wrong and start getting more nervous etc. I mess up more when I try and act more calmly. I'll be working on it though...I'm glad driving has gotten better for you!! Thanks about the compliment...I love the Cheshire Cat...."Can you stand on your head?"

 

[cody2468]

I wouldn't worry too much about what other people are thinking about while you are driving. I drive for a living spend 12 hours a day on the road, one thing I have noticed is that there are alot of drivers out there who when they are at traffic lights brush their hair, put makeup on, have really loud music, there are alot of silly mistakes on the road so you have to be alert all the time to avoid accidents. Dont worry if you think people are looking at you if you are stopped at traffic lights as they most likely arent. It's not unusual to have a quick glance in case you know the driver but other than that no one really takes much notice unless you are drawing attention to yourself in some way.

 

[esp]

Hi, I'm exactly the same as you. In fact, my exposure therapy today was to drive alone to the supermarket and go in and buy something. My fears of driving is that the people behind me are getting impatient with me or that cars are backing up behind me because I don't know when to go. And I can't park properly and I don't want cars waiting there while I try to fix it up. When I go into the shops I don't know what to say at the counter, and I don't want them to comment on how quiet I am if I don't say anything, and I hate saying stuff in front of a queue of people. I hate it if I'm walking somewhere and people just stare at you and I feel self-conscious.

Things that have helped me. Saying this (I got from the book Dying of Embarrassment): "Most people will accept it if I (insert thing here, like have chapped lips). I can cope with disapproval, its not that bad." Its true, most people are all wrapped up in their own worries, and the people who have time to focus on looking for peoples faults are the ones with the problem. Even if someone does disapprove, its not that bad. And the chances of it actually happening are pretty low. I've been avoiding it for ages, but in the months of actually going out I've not had one instance of having to deal with it. If you go in shops people want you to buy something, they can't afford to be mean to you. And people at checkouts in supermarkets, its their job to say how are you? It really doesn't matter what or how much you say. Other drivers aren't waiting to see me make a mistake, they just want to get somewhere. If you think about it, what do you think of everyone else's driving? You don't, you're more concerned about driving yourself and where you're going. Well these are the things I'm trying to learn anyway.

Well its nice to know there are others out there dealing with the same thing! Hope you feel better!

 

[CheshireCat]

Thank you very much esp for your response. I'm am happy just like you to hear from others who are dealing with the same problems in similar situations. I will definitely try out what you suggested. I won't give up :wink:

 

[black_mamba]

I just came back from a drive, one of my biggest fears and I just wanted to see if any one else gets self conscious with driving as well. I've only been driving for about 7 months, one being that I need more experience but another is that I have a fear that others are watching me and making comments about the way I drive as weird as that may sound.

Yep, you guessed it. I'm the same. It's slightly more extreme in my case due to my choice of vehicle. I've always wanted to ride a motorbike, so have been learning over the past 2 years. Driving up and down roads on a small bike has its own problems as you can imagine - being more conspicious/vunerable, having to be more obviously physical when your drive the bike like leaning your body etc.

I'm scared of making a big mistake, its horrible coming into my university carpark as theres a huge biking community there. All sorts of big machines parked up and I waddle in on my learner bike. Its so intimidating, especially when theres a group of bikers standing there watching you ride in trying to figure out if you're someone they know.

I used to have mini panic attacks every morning before I rode into lectures. But I'm determined to keep practicing until its second nature. Eek!

Sometimes I park far away when I go to the store because I'm afraid that I won't park right and even if I do I have the fear that others are watching me.

I'm scared of parking in the middle of town because theres always the potential of me dropping my bike in font of loads of people. In fact this has happened before due to a car hitting me from behind. I couldn't hold onto my bike and it fell onto my legs. No one helped. I think people just don't give a crap, which was great for my anxiety, but not so good news for my leg. Ouch! 8O

Going into the store as well is something I fear as well even if I'm with someone. I hate pushing the shopping carriage, and I hate making eye contact with others. It's hard to even think what I need to get half the time. Eeeek and then at the resgister! What is he/she thinking, do i have chapped lips? I give a little giggle if they try to start a conversation. Hmm how much did you say?

Yeah I'm very conscious of my lips being dry, esp after riding with my helmet visor open...make up across my face, flys stuck in my hair. Hehehe. I don't enjoy shopping alone, but when I'm with a close friend we make it fun by having trolly races.

How I make myself feel less nervous - think about the situation from the cashiers point of view; he/she has to deal with hundreds of people a day. Its pretty likely they'll forget about you the second your leave with your bags. I now use cashiers as practice for talking to people. Because I know I'll be leaving soon I'm more relaxed and [try to] make inane conversation. I started doing this when I was about 18, trying not to think too much about what was going on or about myself all the time, just trying to get some words out. After 4 years of this I feel a lot more comfortable around people in general, but still have other social worries.

A lot of people claim that simply putting yourself in the social situations you fear doesn't help, is all about changing your mindset.

Just start thinking that no one cares about your driving. As long as your safe and calm you should be fine. Right?

 

[frustr4t3d]

xx

 

[tommydog]

um frustrated, 3 major car accidents in 2 years, you need to get off the bloody road until your capable of drivng safely.

What if you end up killing other people ?

Why are you having these accidents, is it the SA ? Whatever it is dude, get off the road until the problem is fixed, seriously.

 

[frustr4t3d]

xx

 

[tommydog]

frustr4t3d, i wasnt having a go at you mate, im bieng fair dinkum, helpful even.

The only person that has that many major accidents is someone that isnt a competent driver. Dosnt matter if they werent your fault per say, at that rate, you have to consider that maybe you can be more defensive.

The road is serious, life and death, dont be so selfish, and dont jump on me, i wasnt taking the piss out of you, grow up.

 

[frustr4t3d]

xx

 

[tommydog]

You tell me to grow up? I'm not going to just let u talk to me like i'm some kind of idiot and not say anything back. I'm going to defend myself, if you would like to take this any further, lets meet in person. I'm sure u're some 5'2 nerd that eats his buggers and jerks off to pokemon.

BWAHAHAHAHAha

woohoo

:lol:

ahhhhh

:lol:

ah man. haha. that was classic. refer to the bit about grow up. but yeh, ok, bring your big mouth NY attitude here and ill kick your head in, my dog will grab a hold of your nuts (if you have any) and ill steal your wallet so you cant fly back home. ill put you in the some truckers cabin, and he can take you up north and throw you to the salt water crocodiles. you know australia is a scary place with lotsa big predators, havnt you seen wolf creek, or watched steve irwin ??

LOL ! dude i wasnt having a go at you, but in future i will at every opportunity, if this is the comedy i get in return ! haha

:roll:

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I get nervous driving.....only if it's in a big town or somewhere I'm not used to driving though. If it's just to drive down the road or somewhere I know well where there's not much traffic and stuff and I know EXACTLY where I'm going, then I'm fine. Shopping doesn't bother me at all, I just ignore people the best I can...parking can make me nervous though, especially if it's someplace I have to back out of(backing makes me nervous--always afraid I'll back into another car, a person, something), or if it's a very crowded parking lot.