Does anyone have Personal Ads?

[Nothingness]

I was just looking at one of my ads. I did a search and saw someone I really liked, but then got depressed because I'll never contact them because of my SAD. I don't think I'm good enough when I meet or see someone attactive either. Plus I'm scared of rejection or getting ignored or worse laughed at! Any thoughts?::

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Hate to quote anything Bieber but never say never. Although it was a bond title with Sean Connery first so that makes it awesome to say! (with an "again" stuck in there)

I say that because SAD makes it seem like never, but doesn't have to be. Never should first be stricken from your vocabulary except for the very obvious and sometimes even then! I understand not thinking you're good enough, or will be a disappointment, and rejected or ignored or laughed at. I'd hope you'd vette the person prior a bit, try talk a bit before meeting in person. Doubtful to be laughed at.

Now, rejected or ignored - I fear the ignored part more, which is basically a form of rejection. I feel they'll immediately see all my flaws and if I know them online or something I won't live up to supposed expectations and disappoint and bore and fail.

BUT THATS the SAD thinking FOR us - skewing our expectations and reality! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Easy to say that, harder to go line up and take the shot. A key is not putting all eggs in one basket like, this person I barely know, whatever occurs will make or break me if I get rejected that's the worst that can ever happen to me! MAY FEEL THAT Way - but not life or death, will get over it eventually... and then there's the chance you WON'T be.

The best thing is start slow I think - contacting them does that mean meeting? Talk a little, maybe that's all. Scary enough to do that. But you can do it!

(But I share a lot of the same fears, my medicine has been avoid, not a good one to take long-term, many do so though feel as you do, so not alone there

 

[KiaKaha]

At the risk of the blind leading the blind I will share with you some of my thoughts on the matter.
The thing with rejection is that everyone at some point in their life will get rejected. Either romantically or otherwise. Not everybody is going to like you or be interested in who you are. I think the important thing to remember is that rejection is merely a part of life, and is nothing personal to you.

I know it doesnt feel good, but if you dont try, you will never know just what could be. Sometimes someone just has to make the first move... a small gesture of friendship or even just courtesy can mean a lot to someone and can potentially open up a new opportunity.

We all judge one another, even in the first few seconds as to whether or not we are going to like someone. Some people are going to give you a chance, and some arent...based on limited information that they have of you. This is normal, but if another person feels like they will be able to relate to you (and I can guarantee that there will be somewhere) then they will open up to you, and after a while become familiar with you and begin to bond with you. This is how relationships begin.

All I am trying to say is that, SAD is irrational. You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. All you have to do is show someone a piece of yourself and if you are lucky they will return the gesture. If they dont...it just means they are looking for someone else, and that it has no weight or significance about your worth as a person. If they are downright rude to you...then who wants to be with someone like that anyway? I sure wouldnt.

Good luck...trust me. I know how hard it is, I have the same feelings too.