Hi I'm Ems. I have joined this forum as I used to have social phobia and it is not as bad now but I still can't work out people. I try and be nice to everyone and some people dislike me for no reason. It upsets me and angers me. I don't understand why. Sometimes I feel like not trying at all with people. I do cut myself off from the people that upset me. Does anyone else feel the same? Please answer as I need someone to talk to about this.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND PEOPLE?
- Thread starter Ems
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corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
Hi Ems,Ive always had this problem and sometimes when I ask the other person why they dislike me they say im trying to hard!!!!but im not im just a nice person at the end of the day or sometimes ppl say im sucking up.
At the end of the day it is the other persons loss,but they may have a reason for being like that i.e lost there job etc
I wouldnt worry to much carry on being you and if ppl dont like you for being you then its there loss
At the end of the day it is the other persons loss,but they may have a reason for being like that i.e lost there job etc
I wouldnt worry to much carry on being you and if ppl dont like you for being you then its there loss
Hi Corrinaelizabeth,
Thanks for replying. I just feel it is a shame that the nice people in the world are treated this way. I understand what you are saying that it is their loss and you are right but it doesn't give me much faith in potential friends. I think there are only a small amount of nice people in the world and they get stamped on. Is it jealousy because we are caring people? I don't know but I feel like I don't want to try anymore with people. I am usually such a friendy and accepting person but it is like once bitten twice shy with me. I wish it did not bother me so much. Don't think I am tough enough. I need to get faith in people again.
Thanks for replying. I just feel it is a shame that the nice people in the world are treated this way. I understand what you are saying that it is their loss and you are right but it doesn't give me much faith in potential friends. I think there are only a small amount of nice people in the world and they get stamped on. Is it jealousy because we are caring people? I don't know but I feel like I don't want to try anymore with people. I am usually such a friendy and accepting person but it is like once bitten twice shy with me. I wish it did not bother me so much. Don't think I am tough enough. I need to get faith in people again.
corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
yeah I understand,to be honest I have stopped bothering and only make the effort when I really need to.
I had this so called mate that only bothered with me when she had no one else and I used to put up with it,but I got sick of being treated like a doormat and so when ever she contacted me I made excuses and now I never hear from her. I feel better in myself now tho even if I have no friends now I would rather not have any than be treated horribly and feel used.
where abouts are you from?
I had this so called mate that only bothered with me when she had no one else and I used to put up with it,but I got sick of being treated like a doormat and so when ever she contacted me I made excuses and now I never hear from her. I feel better in myself now tho even if I have no friends now I would rather not have any than be treated horribly and feel used.
where abouts are you from?
I'm from the UK, from Kent. How bout you? Do you have many mates that you can trust? I only have a couple that I can trust. Sometimes I feel like I deserve lots of mates but a lot of people are selfish and untrustworthy. Also I find that girls seem to be back stabbing and get jealous that I sometimes get on better with men as they have not got that attitude.
Clark_Kent
Active member
Whats ur enviornment?
Are the people in it intelligent, how old are you and they? younger people are too busy trying to be cool and popular, if they are older perhaps they are just dumb and unbalanced youll find perhaps that intelligent company is better though sadly quite rare these days.
Are the people in it intelligent, how old are you and they? younger people are too busy trying to be cool and popular, if they are older perhaps they are just dumb and unbalanced youll find perhaps that intelligent company is better though sadly quite rare these days.
Hiya,
I try and get on with everyone but yes, they are generallly younger than me and I suppose they are immature and worry about what people think of them. They are vey cliquey. I'm 30 and my social phobia started when I was about 15 when I felt emotionally picked on at school for years. I think I was too sensitive and nice that people saw that as a weakness. I am so much stronger now but those days still haunt me and stop me from doing so much that I could have done in the past.
It would be nice to find like minded people but I suppose it is up to myself to become stonger. It is hard when you have felt like I have for 15 years. How do you get over the insensitive people?
I try and get on with everyone but yes, they are generallly younger than me and I suppose they are immature and worry about what people think of them. They are vey cliquey. I'm 30 and my social phobia started when I was about 15 when I felt emotionally picked on at school for years. I think I was too sensitive and nice that people saw that as a weakness. I am so much stronger now but those days still haunt me and stop me from doing so much that I could have done in the past.
It would be nice to find like minded people but I suppose it is up to myself to become stonger. It is hard when you have felt like I have for 15 years. How do you get over the insensitive people?
corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
im also in UK but in Lincolnshire,Ive only really got one trusted friend and hes my bf lol I dont get why I havent got many friends as I always made the effort in the past and was always nice to them but I think I was too nice and got taken advantage of easily. Nowadays due to my sp I find it hard to communicate with strangers to make new friends and what happened in the past with my so called friends makes me not want to bother now anyway lol
Please could you tell me how yr sp started? Was it when you were young? I think mine started when I was about 8. I was very shy and developed into sp because I had so much rejection and humilitaion from my peers that I became introverted and scared that if I stuck out at school then they would laugh at me. It was torture as a teenager. I don't know how I got through it but I am here now. I'm still suffering but on a much smaller scale. It is still there though.
I'm so gratful to be talking to you all. It really makes me feel that I am not alone. I just hope we can all talk and share our experiences and find strength in each other and ourselves. Please keep writing and communicating to the people that understand. Maybe that is how we will be able to get through the pain.