Hi, I recently started thinking about some of the habits and routines I seem to have and was wondering if anyone else experiences the same things I do, and if you think I might have OCD, or a mild case of it at least.
Whenever I go to bed I have to do the exact same thing. My bed is by my curtains, and for some reason when the meeting of the two curtains stick out I have to tuck them to the side of my bed so nothing is sticking out. I also then say the exact same prayer I do every night, with only a few variations but it's always the same words in the same order. Sometimes on the way to bed if I notice something that I think looks out of place or strange, if I get into bed I find it impossible to rest without getting out to fix it. Of course then, I spot another thing that is bothering me and I have to quickly fix it and get into bed before I see something else little and unimportant to adjust. And every day after school, a lot of people probably do this because it's hygenic, but for at least a few years, after getting into the habit of washing my hands straight after school, I feel disgusting if I haven't carried out this task. As soon as my schoolbags ben put down, my shoes off, I have to wash my hands or I get agitated.
I also have very odd urges. If I see a stove, I have to stop myself from touching it. The other day I was cutting an apple with a knife and when my auntie left the room, I stared at the blade for a long time. I'm not interested and never have been, never will be in self harming but I just wanted to drag the sharp edge of the knife along my wrist so bad, that I couldn't stop myself from pricking myself the tiniest bit. I was horrified that I had done it, but just thinking about it makes me want to do it right now! And if the car window is open, even the slightest bit open and I have my cellphone in my hands, I have to make the window go back up before I lose control and hurl my phone out the window when my mum is driving down the road. I don't know why I have those urges. The phone one is only something I have after school on the trip home. Never any other time, only then.
And I don't like it when things aren't 'even'. We have a TV in the lounge, with a large speaker on the left side. I can't even look at it without wanting to go out and buy a replica of it to place on the right. If I became aware of myself clicking the mouse, I have to press the left button, then the right and then both at the same time before having to stop myself from repeating this action. If my arm is resting on the bench or if it's under pressure, I have to make my other arm do the same, especially if it's relaxed and the other is tensed.
I used to have a bad habit of blinking for a long time for some reason, and squeezing my eyes shut and opening them quickly, like squinting even though there is nothing at all wrong with my eyesight. I had to tell myself if I did it anymore the ones close to me would die and even then I found it very difficult to stop.
I have told a few friends of mine a few of my habits but they just think I'm weird! Am I just weird or does anyone else feel the same!? Sorry for the rambling but I don't know what is wrong with me and how to stop these stupid routines, habits and urges. I probably don't even have OCD because nobody has ever commented on me being really strange and if I am my mum wouldn't take me seriously because she barely ever does.
Whenever I go to bed I have to do the exact same thing. My bed is by my curtains, and for some reason when the meeting of the two curtains stick out I have to tuck them to the side of my bed so nothing is sticking out. I also then say the exact same prayer I do every night, with only a few variations but it's always the same words in the same order. Sometimes on the way to bed if I notice something that I think looks out of place or strange, if I get into bed I find it impossible to rest without getting out to fix it. Of course then, I spot another thing that is bothering me and I have to quickly fix it and get into bed before I see something else little and unimportant to adjust. And every day after school, a lot of people probably do this because it's hygenic, but for at least a few years, after getting into the habit of washing my hands straight after school, I feel disgusting if I haven't carried out this task. As soon as my schoolbags ben put down, my shoes off, I have to wash my hands or I get agitated.
I also have very odd urges. If I see a stove, I have to stop myself from touching it. The other day I was cutting an apple with a knife and when my auntie left the room, I stared at the blade for a long time. I'm not interested and never have been, never will be in self harming but I just wanted to drag the sharp edge of the knife along my wrist so bad, that I couldn't stop myself from pricking myself the tiniest bit. I was horrified that I had done it, but just thinking about it makes me want to do it right now! And if the car window is open, even the slightest bit open and I have my cellphone in my hands, I have to make the window go back up before I lose control and hurl my phone out the window when my mum is driving down the road. I don't know why I have those urges. The phone one is only something I have after school on the trip home. Never any other time, only then.
And I don't like it when things aren't 'even'. We have a TV in the lounge, with a large speaker on the left side. I can't even look at it without wanting to go out and buy a replica of it to place on the right. If I became aware of myself clicking the mouse, I have to press the left button, then the right and then both at the same time before having to stop myself from repeating this action. If my arm is resting on the bench or if it's under pressure, I have to make my other arm do the same, especially if it's relaxed and the other is tensed.
I used to have a bad habit of blinking for a long time for some reason, and squeezing my eyes shut and opening them quickly, like squinting even though there is nothing at all wrong with my eyesight. I had to tell myself if I did it anymore the ones close to me would die and even then I found it very difficult to stop.
I have told a few friends of mine a few of my habits but they just think I'm weird! Am I just weird or does anyone else feel the same!? Sorry for the rambling but I don't know what is wrong with me and how to stop these stupid routines, habits and urges. I probably don't even have OCD because nobody has ever commented on me being really strange and if I am my mum wouldn't take me seriously because she barely ever does.
