I have just been thinking to myself of late 'What is to say I am not confident?' Why do I believe and why do I tell people I have no confidence? I know insecurities and being self conscious of those insecurities is what makes me anxious and want to avoid situations I fear I will be judged negatively by people I really don't want to be judged negatively by - and I am really trying to overcome those things, but I know also that I am a person with very little confidence. But what determines why I have little confidence? What determines me thinking 'I can't go and do that (putting myself into a certain social situation), I haven't got the confidence to do that'. And this could be something like starting a conversation with someone, applying for a new job, asking someone out on a date, public speaking, putting myself out and about, etc. It just seems that we have this automatic subconscious belief that we can't do something, we won't be able to cope, we will fail, we will be humiliated, etc.
It got me thinking - do we ever believe in ourselves? Do we ever want to take a challenge and say we can do this? Do we ever want something that we would love to have but don't currently (whether its meeting someone you really like, a job you would like, doing something you have always wanted to do like go away on a holiday/travel, starting a hobby that would require being around new people, etc) and do something about it? I know some people have done on here, but in general I wonder if the answer is that most people (me included) never aim for things because they don't believe in themselves that they can do it.
But what determines this belief that we can't do it. For instance we are intelligent, we can speak, we can walk, etc - that means we can theoretically do anything like ask someone out, go travelling, apply for a dream job, etc. So why don't we ever believe we can do something?
Can't we just believe in ourselves, and when I mean believe I mean believe - not tell ourself before a task 'I can do this (but not believe it)' but instead in our spare time, work on understanding and believing that the truth is that we can do it, because right now it seems like we believe we can't for some reason, but those beliefs that we can't are wrong and inaccurate. I just think going into a situation full of negatives and doubts and believing you can't do something - it just makes you really believe that you can't and that its going to be a struggle. I think knowing you can't cope you also get scared and worry that people will see you can't cope.
Isn't it time we start working on believing and understanding we can do these things we have always been afraid of, analysing and breaking down beliefs that we cannot do something?
Any thoughts? Do you think its possible to do that? Would that work in helping make our anxiety a lot, lot less than what it currently is?
It got me thinking - do we ever believe in ourselves? Do we ever want to take a challenge and say we can do this? Do we ever want something that we would love to have but don't currently (whether its meeting someone you really like, a job you would like, doing something you have always wanted to do like go away on a holiday/travel, starting a hobby that would require being around new people, etc) and do something about it? I know some people have done on here, but in general I wonder if the answer is that most people (me included) never aim for things because they don't believe in themselves that they can do it.
But what determines this belief that we can't do it. For instance we are intelligent, we can speak, we can walk, etc - that means we can theoretically do anything like ask someone out, go travelling, apply for a dream job, etc. So why don't we ever believe we can do something?
Can't we just believe in ourselves, and when I mean believe I mean believe - not tell ourself before a task 'I can do this (but not believe it)' but instead in our spare time, work on understanding and believing that the truth is that we can do it, because right now it seems like we believe we can't for some reason, but those beliefs that we can't are wrong and inaccurate. I just think going into a situation full of negatives and doubts and believing you can't do something - it just makes you really believe that you can't and that its going to be a struggle. I think knowing you can't cope you also get scared and worry that people will see you can't cope.
Isn't it time we start working on believing and understanding we can do these things we have always been afraid of, analysing and breaking down beliefs that we cannot do something?
Any thoughts? Do you think its possible to do that? Would that work in helping make our anxiety a lot, lot less than what it currently is?
