Ragle
Active member
I have this dilemma right now and since I'm reading this forum for some time I've decided to make a post here asking for opinions. I haven't introduced myself on the forum but I'll try to make a quick description of myself. I'm suffering from depression for a long time, I'm 22 and I feel it closing in already. (I have no social life whatsoever, I only talk to one person who I think is my friend for six years. he doesn't talk mush about himself, we only talk about video games or movies and such.) I won't keep going with this, I'll just say that nothing makes sense and nothing is worth living for me right now.
Alright.. back to the subject. About 3-4 years ago I talked to a girl in highschool, just briefly, we hanged out once but I backed up on the moment she tried to move forward if you know what I mean. The thing is I wasn't to attracted to her back then.. at least this is what I remember.. but I can remember that I enjoyed our conversations I guess. Well now I just found a profile of her (I wont say what site and how. I'm a big stalker) and I'm thinking to send her a message asking if she wants to chat but I'm kind of afraid this is a weird and dumb thing to do. Is more likely she doesn't care anymore, I mean who will? I think I'm going nowhere with this thread.. I'm so much of a downer that I've almost convinced myself it's no good doing it. I guess I feel the need to talk with someone else. I never talk to anyone when I go places, I'm always looking for the best ways to avoid contact and escape situations even if it's not in my advantage.
I think this might be just an impulse now and I'm afraid if I do send her the message and she answers and if we eventually get together I might lose interest or I'll act stupid having nothing to say because of my depression. Or maybe I'm thinking to far, I'm sure I am but I can't help it. That's why I never do anything and when I finally do something , even something insignificant I feel bad and thinking what if I've done it the other way. I can't enjoy things, nothing makes me happy. I guess I'm going too far with this talking about me.. so I'm waiting for replies in case I don't get freaked out after posting this, forget it all and go back in my cage.
ps: sorry if my english is bad, it's not my native language
ps2: oh yea.. I also have no job(I only go to uni now and doing something I don't like because I don't know what I like ) and I have this other problem I'm thinking about.. since I'm 22 most of people my age probably have jobs and so a financial state .. I'm just afraid in case I'll get along with a girl I don't have much o offer, I don't even have a car or whatever. It's not that I miss this things but I feel like I should have been to another level now at this age.
ps3:
Alright.. back to the subject. About 3-4 years ago I talked to a girl in highschool, just briefly, we hanged out once but I backed up on the moment she tried to move forward if you know what I mean. The thing is I wasn't to attracted to her back then.. at least this is what I remember.. but I can remember that I enjoyed our conversations I guess. Well now I just found a profile of her (I wont say what site and how. I'm a big stalker) and I'm thinking to send her a message asking if she wants to chat but I'm kind of afraid this is a weird and dumb thing to do. Is more likely she doesn't care anymore, I mean who will? I think I'm going nowhere with this thread.. I'm so much of a downer that I've almost convinced myself it's no good doing it. I guess I feel the need to talk with someone else. I never talk to anyone when I go places, I'm always looking for the best ways to avoid contact and escape situations even if it's not in my advantage.
I think this might be just an impulse now and I'm afraid if I do send her the message and she answers and if we eventually get together I might lose interest or I'll act stupid having nothing to say because of my depression. Or maybe I'm thinking to far, I'm sure I am but I can't help it. That's why I never do anything and when I finally do something , even something insignificant I feel bad and thinking what if I've done it the other way. I can't enjoy things, nothing makes me happy. I guess I'm going too far with this talking about me.. so I'm waiting for replies in case I don't get freaked out after posting this, forget it all and go back in my cage.
ps: sorry if my english is bad, it's not my native language
ps2: oh yea.. I also have no job(I only go to uni now and doing something I don't like because I don't know what I like ) and I have this other problem I'm thinking about.. since I'm 22 most of people my age probably have jobs and so a financial state .. I'm just afraid in case I'll get along with a girl I don't have much o offer, I don't even have a car or whatever. It's not that I miss this things but I feel like I should have been to another level now at this age.
ps3:
