Dealing with "Bullying"

[Alejandro]

Hi

I have been treated for SA for over four years now and at work, amongst my workmates, I never shut up now. With supervisers etc, I still timid. There are certain people at work who like to say obscene to me. Now I bottle things up and say nothing to them because a) i don't have a come back and b) if i say something, hell would break loose.

There is the b'ch at work who is going to get it when she will say something offensive to me. She is on my black list. The thing is, I am not a subtle person and once i had enough, she will see the true me and she won't like it.

Any suggests on how to cope with cows like her would be appreciated.

 

[ShyCanuck]

I'm seeing alot of posts about adult bullying from Australian workplaces. Presumably it is the same for Australia, but in Canada that behaviour would be considered unprofessional and juvenile and if someone does it consistently they can be fired for it. I'm not sure if it's a cultural difference or what, but my advice is to just let her do it and she will look like an unprofessional child in the eyes of your co-workers. It would be career suicide if she keeps it up.

EDIT: I'd also advise that you do nothing, even if she's is vicious about it. If you do something stupid then it would also be career suicide, and she gets what she wanted.

 

[Jim_Bergerac]

It is quite difficult for me to give good advice when I suffered years of bullying, put downs, ridicule, etc myself because I really let it get to me and it brought me down.

I think you need to realise the problem is her not you. It takes someone really nasty, immature, insensitive, cruel, lacking class, pathetic, childish, etc to treat you like this. Never let her comments bring you down or take any notice of them.
There are people like her in life, I have seen a lot of people like this person myself. Whenever she says things just try and let it fly over your head, realise the mentality of this person and realise how worthless she is. Really try and program your mind to take no notice of this person, really understand that this person is aiming to hurt you and trying to bring you down and its nothing to do with you, you just happen to be the one who is in the wrong place because it could almost be anyone in front of her and she will be trying to do the same to them.

Maybe also you may want to consider finding a new job? I know its not right that it is you who has to move on but it is not good to be around people like this.

 

[N04h]

You have to tell your boss about it. Bullying is not acceptable

 

[Bemzy]

I think what you're describing here is a case of mobbing.

You could really take someone to the court with this accusation.

Tell about this situation to your boss. If he/she fails to do something about it I advise you take them to court...I think there are pretty nasty penalties for mobbers.

Seriously there's no reason for you to take this kind of bs.

 

[Zappa111]

I was mobbed at a workplace, since my first day there. There was a sadist who had gotten a power position and had subsequently bullied another colleague to "find victims" for her. I was one of those victims. They wouldnt greet me. They pulled faces at me, ignored me, physically turned their backs to me when they spoke to someone else. They accused me of things, didnt want to help me with work. When i told the one woman i had been sick she simply smiled and said "that's great." No sympathy, no humane treatment. From all of this i learnt that a person cannot stay in such a place. Sometimes a person has to walk away from abuse

 

[Bemzy]

I was mobbed at a workplace, since my first day there. There was a sadist who had gotten a power position and had subsequently bullied another colleague to "find victims" for her. I was one of those victims. They wouldnt greet me. They pulled faces at me, ignored me, physically turned their backs to me when they spoke to someone else. They accused me of things, didnt want to help me with work. When i told the one woman i had been sick she simply smiled and said "that's great." No sympathy, no humane treatment. From all of this i learnt that a person cannot stay in such a place. Sometimes a person has to walk away from abuse

Smart decision.