Deaf...

[TranceBoy]

Hiya,

I too suffer with social phobia and anxiety...on my own or with people I know I am alright, but there is a part of me that is afraid to let go and be my self in front of others it is as though I am waiting for the lead that I will then follow or waiting for the reaction to me.

I have also within the last few years found out that I am deaf...my right ear had been taking the weight of the left and because my right ear dropped a frequency I started to notice my loss of hearing, which apparently I have been deaf since birth.

Now, the doctor told me this would make me feel uncomfortable around groups of people, but on a one to one basis I would be fine, though this now seems to create anxiety too.

I say this because I wonder if others without realising it are subconsciously anxious because of not being aware of hearing loss. An example, put one finger in the right ear block out noise, does the left ear feel or sound like it is under water? And do the same with the left ear does the right ear feel underwater...when I do it I sound like I am just vibrating inside my head words...not being fully projected but take both fingers out and it is okay with speaking tough others say at times I mumble...

So is the social anxiety linked to the loss of hearing? In my case it is...but I also feel guilty I get embarrassed...I will give you an example, I was sat on the back of the bus once...that way I feel as though I am in control, but then the bus driver made a wrong turn and had to turn around...straight away he turned to me on the back seat to give him directions...the whole bus the people turned round and I just went bright red...I acted as though I did not see him..so instead these kids gave him signals...

That's another thing children running around in doctors waiting rooms and drawing attention to me...that is bad...I get embarrased and I do not know why...the thing is like all of us on here we can most probably turn the events into comical situations and laugh but whilst in the situation it is hell....I am gay and so find all other gay men very loud, so this stops me getting a relationship...I am noticing how loud other lads are now and I never seen this before...and it makes me think should I be that loud but because I am shy and quiet it is not me...but then others think I am ignorant....

So I would be interested to know if you can all hear perfectly, if not and you did not realise this then maybe I have brought something to your awareness...

Also any advice would be brilliant on my situation...I do not work and I am looking into doing a course where I go once a fortnight and bring my work home with me...it is usually on a one to one basis, but now they are trying to arrange a small group...which straight away puts me off....the course is psychology.

Regards

TranceBoy

 

[jim]

My hearing is fine, have you tried hearing aids? These days they have really small ones that you can hardly see.

 

[Crimefish]

I had a hearing test recently and I have perfect hearing... though, I have a cold right now, so my ears are blocked.
I've noticed that some people's SA stemmed from shyness, and some was caused by a particular event. Not sure about mine.

 

[Radius]

Been hearing impaired for about 25 years, give or take. SA probably longer. Also have severe depression that people ascribe as being exacerbated by my diabetes, if not outright caused by. The hearing loss, in my opinion, makes the SA worse. When you can't hear what a person says the first time, asking them to repeat it is awkward, and then the second time they get annoyed, and the flow of the conversation has been broken. People I am familiar with its not so much of a problem, but as I avoid meeting/engaging anyone, I can't seem to get past it. In the past 5 years or so I have done an admirable job of isolating myself. My social group consists of my wife, son & dogs, as well as 2-3 people I talk to on the phone, and I only go out to go to doctor's appointments. In 1996 I was working regional theater, just graduated college, confident, skilled enjoying the boon of life I had discovered in the live theater. Now its gone. Seem to have gotten off the subject. Yes, the loss of hearing will easily make the SA worse and effects more isolating. Hearing aides are nice, if you can afford the good ones, which most of the inner ear ones are not, but they are at best only a stop gap, not a cure. I have the added benefit of easily getting ear infections, so if I use a hearing aide all the time, I'll have an ear infection within 1-2 days, so I am restricted in its use. Diabetes has been a well rounded hobby for me, but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone looking for a quick thrill.

 

[Erninmcm]

I've had 5 sets of tubes put in my ears and then during a bad double ear infection my ear drums ended up with a few holes in them. Now I have a ton of scar tissue in my ears and it's difficult to hear, especially out of my right ear.

It's kind of awkward hanging out with people, especially if someone is new and doesn't know. I just try to concentrate on their voice and watch their mouth and repeat what they're saying in my head.