Daughters Wedding

[Thomoli]

I have a problem!! A few years back I got some crazy illness that caused me all kinds of problems. The worst part was the memory lapses and passing out. I would forget how to drive while I was driving! Or be sitting in my car in front of my house and be 'lost'. The illness caused mitral valve prolapse so I began passing out at the walmart almost everytime I went. Needless to say it didn't take long before I was afraid to go anywhere. I became a prisoner in my own home. Somedays I was too scared to even open the door and get in the mail or answer the phone. I ran off all my friends by standing them up or turning them down for functions and events so many times they quit asking.

ISo, my only daughter will be getting married June 7th! All I can do is cry about it. The more I try to psych myself up to go the more apprehensive I get. I know I will never be able to make it to this wedding! I also know that if I am a no show my daughter will never speak to me again. I want to try and explain to my daughter but I don't think that she will be able to fathom how 'sick' just thinking about leaving the house makes me! She thinks I don't like her man so she will think that is why I am not coming.
I don't know what to do.

I am supposed to be looking for a dress! What a joke! Looking for a dress makes me sick.

The funny thing is, before I got sick I was absolutely, positively, nothing like this!

 

[miss_amy]

You need to talk/write to your daughter and make her understand what you have told us.

If there's any way you can be there then this is the time as a parent that you have to suffer to put your daughter first. You've got some time to work on it and perhaps your daughter can understnad and let you take a back seat at the wedding and do any thing she can to make the experience as painless as it can be.
If you seriously cannot go then you need to get your daughter to understand why. Have an interest in the day even if you are not there. Ask her for a video and photographs. Take an interest in her man and make him welcome in your home even if you feel uncomfortable with visitors.

Dresses are not a problem, order one online, catalogue etc....again you have time on your side.

 

[Some_guy]

Using anxiety medication could be useful *just for this time*. I'm strongly against medication in the long run, but I feel this is the kind of situation where it could be appropriate. Ask your doctor about it.

Best would of course to go without it. Once actually there, I'm sure you'll realize it's not all that bad and that you exaggerated it in your mind. I'm sure you can think of many situations you anticipated in the past, with your mind going crazy and making up all sorts of crazy scenarios with things going wrong, and in the end finding out it's not all *that* bad. Sure, you experience anxiety. But it's certainly not as bad as you pictured it would be.

You can just visualize yourself at the end of the big day, being so tired from the stress the even brought but at the same time being so glad that you did it through despite the anxiety.

Remember that you're allowed to feel anxious and that again, as a last resort you can always use anxiety medication.

Hope that helped